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Microsoft's Law

With each subsequent release of a product, the chance of failure grows ever closer to 100%, without ever touching 100%, yet.
Non-Techie: Damnit! My fail copy of Windows crashed again. Why does it keep doing this?

Techie: Microsoft's Law, obviously. Just install Windows 95, it'll work much better.
by Shardok GraBug January 11, 2010
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Microsoft Sam

The most common default text-to-speech voice on Microsoft Windows computers. MS Sam is often used to say funny words or to sound like a helicopter.

You may also know MS Sam from the YouTube series, Arby and the Chief; MS Sam plays Chief.
Classroom friend, Joe: "Hey Matt, watch this!"
Microsoft Sam: "Penis"
Classroom friend, Matt: "Hah! You made him say penis"
Teacher: "Hey! Who said penis?!"
by KenzelC April 10, 2010
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Microsoft sam

a funny voice inside microsoft's Awesome XP.
If you type in ''soi'', its a roflcopter.
If you type in ''crotch'', you get Crowsnest.
its funny
Jim: Hey Tom, Bob, and Bill! Look at this!
Microsoft Sam: soi crotch soi crotch
Tom: ROFL
Bob: LMAO
Bill: ROFLMAOWEABSWWXFOTVBIIGTWXFANBISTSOOY!!!
by u2dvdbono August 26, 2010
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Microsoft Security Essentials

Something from Microsoft that actually works
I rid my computer of vundo using Microsoft Security Essentials
by 1033955456596542 March 21, 2010
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microsoft sam

The sweet ass dude that you can tell to say funny ass words and he says them in a really funny voice. You really need to try this. Its some funny shit.
-How To Get Microsoft Sam-
1.Click on Start
2.Click on Control Panel
3.Click on Speech
4.Type some funny shit and let him say it.
*/-THINGS FOR MICROSOFT SAM TO SAY THAT ARE FUNNY AS SHIT-/*
just copy and paste

1. I am Sam, Hear Me Roar, Bitch!
2. gdfgdhgidfghdfgiudfndfgopdfgdfnguidfuigigudfuigndfugnsdfgnpdggnuidfgdfngudfpggnuigpgnuidngdfnguidfnguidfgndgndfuigngh
3. Nigger
by Mic August 5, 2004
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Microsoft second

Usually equal to 3-4 seconds when the computer is new.. After one month of use though, this turns into 10-15... and After a year you might as well go to bed if it tells you it has one second left.
"One second left on download" ..... 20 minutes later......
"One second left on download" ..... 1 microsoft second later.... you wake up from your 3 hour nap
by Apple FTW April 27, 2012
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