martyrbating 

Using one's religion to be perceived as a victim, beg for donations, or to appear more righteously pious than others. Often used in conjunction with the case of the sadz.

Tony Perkins and Bryan Brown are martyrbating again against the "evils" of homosexuality.

The anti-gay/religious right organizations are having funding issues again, time for another round of martyrbating.

martyrbating by Empyrealgod November 15, 2013

Martyrbating 

When you don't feel like masturbating but you do it anyway because you have nothing better to do.

I was so bored last night that I ended up just martyrbating until I fell asleep

Martyrbating by BoyWonder3 February 9, 2018

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

masturbating jungler 

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.

Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!

masturbating jungler by bananas107 May 16, 2023

Masturbating

Is what I’m doing now ;)

I’m still masturbating bitchez

Masturbating by It’s true bitches October 28, 2018