Maxturbating 

When you wake up in the middle of the night and your buddy Max is masturbating in the bed next to you

Who is that guy maxturbating on the other side of the hotel room

Maxturbating by The Chooser September 28, 2008

Maxturbating 

The act of bringing about sexual gratification in oneself while being a man or woman called Max. Often done while looking in the yourself straight in the eyes in a mirror, while holding a picture of yourself in the "free" hand.

Max. Maaaaaax! We have to go, what are you still doing in front of the mirror. OMG?! Are you Maxturbating again? Disgusting!

Maxturbating by DutchHypeBeast June 12, 2018

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

Meaturbating 

The act of consuming any type of meat without the knowledge or permission of your Vegan/Vegetarian significant other who has either forced you or convinced you to comply with his or her dietary beliefa. The act of Meaturbation can bring on waves of guilt and typically results in efforts to reform oneself to please your controlling and almost omnipresent spouse. Who at a minimum is an enthusiastic believer and at a maximum an unhinged zealot

I saw my good friend Meaturbating during lunch yesterday. And while he seemed to be enjoying himself, it was clear that he felt ashamed as well.

Meaturbating by Yogithan April 4, 2019

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

Masturdating

Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating

Masturdating by Mikeparsh September 25, 2010