Martyrbation

The pleasure of complaining about being persecuted, when practiced by people who aren't actually being persecuted.

In an orgy of martyrbation, the fundamentalists complained that they were being persecuted for not being allowed to use tax dollars to promote their brand of religion.

by rewinn December 18, 2011

Martyrbation

When C-4 is your Viagra. And your premature ejaculation ensures the only one killed is yourself.

You see, when a good red blooded American nut job will go on a rampage, killing innocent people, and then blow his own brains out, or go down in a shootout with the SWAT team, he's generally pissed off...and he s not saying "God is great" before he kills those people....not like those MARTYRBATION puppets that think theyre doing god's will every time one pops.

by Wørd Üpp March 9, 2013

Martyrbation

A combination of Martyr and masturbation. Used to refer to people (usually christian Americans) who pretend to be persecuted despite being a majority. Usually martyrbators will talk about hypothetical situations in which their religion or ideology becomes illegal or otherwise banned by the government.

Bob posted on face book him pretending to take a mugshot saying "when Christianity becomes illegal". He lives in the middle of Tennessee this is just martyrbation.

by Ivan the ok May 12, 2022

Martyrbation

The act of deriving sexual pleasure from the thought of being martyred.

Alice: It's so impossible to be a Christian these days because everyone wants to persecute you.
Bob: Sounds like martyrbation to me.

by MalumLibrum958 July 17, 2024

Comedic Masturbation

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.

My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016

Bureaucratic Masturbation

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008

Masturbation guilt

The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.

"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.

by GunaDK January 19, 2012