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Lowe's Home Improvement

The epitome of ass-kissery. As soon as you walk into a Lowe's, your ass saturated with the spit of every employee that crosses your path; but it is not their fault, because it is what they have been constantly told to do every day. Lowe's is built upon the model of "excellent, excruciatingly-paranoid, money-pinching, annoying, ass-kissing, customer-focus". The best thing to do when you see a "red vest" is to cut a corner and run. These people are already stressed enough with the dumbass questions that get flung at them every day so one more question is just one more reason for them to eat a bullet.
Customer walks in Lowe's:

"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH Lowe's Home Improvement WAREHOUSE! WE HAVE LOTS OF ITEMS TO HELP YOUR EVERY NEED FOR EVERY SITUATION! HOW MAY WE BE OF SERVICE TO YOU TODAY SIR OR MA'AM???"

Customer: Holy fucking ass crackers! Can I not look at the fucking power tools without being bombarded by damn service? Fuck this I'm going to Home Depot where people leave me the hell alone!

Home Improvement 

An ABC sitcom airing from 1991-1999 and one of the most cleverly written sitcoms of the decade. Comedian Tim Allen starred as Tim Taylor, a chauvinist, handyman husband and father of three mischeivous sons who hosted a Detroit cable tool show called Tool Time, and just could help himself to giving "more power" to machinery. Much of the show also focused on the of the rest of the Taylor family: Tim’s wife Jill is a feminist and aspiring psychologist, the loner and very astute neighbor Wilson Wilson always provides advice for Tim, and Tim’s sons are mischeivious but good kids. Tim is very masculine and chauvinist (he even gets disgusted at just the thought of going to the opera), a handyman, clumsy, loved to make jokes about Al’s flannel shirts and overweight mother, always rewiring gadgets, was always competing with his next door neighbor Doc Johnson for the neighborhood’s best Christmas lights, seeking advice from his other neighbor Wilson Wilson (Wilson Wilson is not a typo)

Spoofs from the show:

1. Tim’s frequent jokes about Al’s flannel shirst and overweight mom.
2. always seeking advice from his next door neighbor Wilson Wilson, only to screw it up
3. Wilson’s face is always hidden
4. always rewiring things to give it “more power”…only to have it explode
5. his wife Jill can’t cook
6. Tim has an obsession with Sears
7. always competes with Doc Johnson, a 80-year old retired proctologist, for the neighborhood’s best Christmas lights
8. Tim is so clumsy that he dropped a steel beam on his wife’s car, fell though a portapotty, glued his head to a table, had a hammer frozen to his tongue, fell through the roof on a project house, blew up a friend’s house and blew up the dishwasher
9. always building a hot rod in the garage
10. frequently grunts when exited or perplexed
11. Bob Villa is his biggest competition
12. Tim often hits his head on a basement pipe above the stairs
13. frequently made jokes about his mother-in-law “Nanna’s” weight but stopped when he saw how thin she had become
14. Always wants Tool Time to take a commercial break when he gets injured
15. Tim frequently gets sick eating Polish food from "Stan’s" Polish restaurant in Hamtramk
16. Tim is well-known at the emergency room, even to the point of having his own cup labeled “Tim”
17. Tim often wears sweatshirts from a Michigan college.
18. Tim's three sons' are always bullied by Vinny McGern
Home Improvement was probably the best scripted show from the 1990s and won numerous Emmys.

Home Improvement 

One of the best, most enjoyable TV shows in history.
Home Improvement rocks.
Home Improvement by Meijer's! December 5, 2005

Self improvement 

Nah I would get a lot of shit from you guys for not doing the self improvement thing.
Hym "I'm not willing to do the self improvement thing for free anymore. I'm going to need some goth booty. Or some kind of booty equivalent. Like, some asmrtist booty or maybe some hispanic cleaning lady booty. But I don't know. I just... How about this: For every 1 booty of this 👆 caliber I receive, I will do 1000 push ups before collecting any subsequent booty. How does that sound? .... On second thought, 500 push ups. I'm thinking like 100 a day and I'm just not going to wait 10 days for subsequent booty. So, 500 per booty and the genius money factory will get in shape."
Self improvement by Hym Iam February 18, 2023

self-improvement 

Self-improvement is masturbation... Now self-destruction...
self-improvement by dip June 29, 2004

panty improvement 

When a girl's underwear selection becomes considerably sexier after intially seeing her undress.
Adenna had a 100% panty improvement since the first time I fucked her.
panty improvement by flandrman August 25, 2007
More from Urban Dictionary

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026

Plate of Brown 

A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.
Wanna go to meal hall & grab a plate of brown?
Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020
Word of the Day on October 22, 2026

Larpenomics

When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.
Andrew Tate has mastered the field of larpenomics
Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026
Word of the Day on October 21, 2026

Palmela Handerson 

Your hand that you masturbate with.
Girlfriend: What are you going to do for the next week while I'm on holiday?

Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Word of the Day on October 20, 2026
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