[e-mail]'s definitions

honeymoon

1. Where you can proudly "moon" your new "honey" in private after the wedding--hence the word.

2. What I will never have because women don't like me.

3. Utter bliss where a brand-new, nieve married couple goes to consumate their marriage and have a giant 7-day orgy, without feeling guilty anymore. You shut the door and don’t ever come out.

4. You better enjoy it, because it’s the best and perhaps last time you will have sex if you remain married to each other.

5. The last time a couple has sex.

When you are young, your honeymoon is Niagra. Fifty years later, its viagra.

by [e-mail] January 2, 2008

Newark

The largest city in New Jersey (280,000). A city of grime and grit, just 10 miles outside New York City in northern New Jersey. It is the headquarters to a number of banks, insurance companies and pharmaceutical corporations.

Newark, despite having numerous corporate headquarters to large companies, has much potyential but is a city of grime and grit instead.

by [e-mail] May 20, 2008

Rust Belt

An area of the United States stretching from the Great Lakes to New England that has seen numerous plant closings and job losses in heavy manufacturing over the past several decades. It includes the states of Michigan, far NW Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, New York and perhaps parts of New England. The demise of the steel and auto industries has caused the biggest headaches for the area. The steel industry has been faced with tough competition from overseas markets. The situation is similar for the auto industry, except labor unions and foreign competition in auto sales have been the reason for the job losses at the "Big 3," as plants close or layoff numerous workers for cheaper labor in Mexico. The state of Michigan, especially the Detroit area has seen the most job losses in the country, thanks to the challenges of the auto industry. Much of Ohio, Western Pennsylvania and Western New York State have been hit especially hard. Detroit and Pittsburgh are the epitomes of the Rust Belt.

I used to live in the Rust Belt, but had to move out because I found a decent job.

by [e-mail] November 24, 2007

vulgarity

The only tool an ignorant and hostile person knows how to use to get their point across.

Vulgarity makes a person sound like an undeucated, ignorant, hostile idiot who needs his mouth washed out with soap.

by [e-mail] May 5, 2008

Detroit Lions

An NFL team that has a God-given talent for knowing how to lose games. They ALWAYS find a way to lose after leading in the fourth quarter. A rival team to the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers.

The Detroit Lions are probably the best of the worst teams in the NFL.

by [e-mail] August 21, 2007

urban sprawl

When formerly rural areas are threatened by the encroachment of urban areas. Happens when people move and commute further and further away from the city, soon to be followed by strip malls, Walmart, cookie-cutter housing developments and SUVS driven by soccer moms and corporate fatcats. Some people complain that it also causes higher taxes, higher crime and pollution.

Urban sprawl happens near every city of reasonable size but occurs the fastest in the Sun Belt. Urban sprawl is addressed in the song "They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot."

by [e-mail] January 13, 2008

reality

In the United States, it's anything outside San Francisco.

Reality is a state of mind, except in San Francisco where it is not present.

by [e-mail] December 27, 2007