[e-mail]'s definitions

honeymoon

1. Where you can proudly "moon" your new "honey" in private after the wedding--hence the word.

2. What I will never have because women don't like me.

3. Utter bliss where a brand-new, nieve married couple goes to consumate their marriage and have a giant 7-day orgy, without feeling guilty anymore. You shut the door and don’t ever come out.

4. You better enjoy it, because it’s the best and perhaps last time you will have sex if you remain married to each other.

5. The last time a couple has sex.

When you are young, your honeymoon is Niagra. Fifty years later, its viagra.

by [e-mail] January 2, 2008

Spring Break

A time of the year (usually in Mar or Apr) when college students from the northern states go to the sunbelt to bask in the beaches, beer, bods and booty. The biggest destinations are probably Cancun, Cabo San Lucas, Panama City and Miami Beach.

For guys its a time of waiting to meet a hot chick and score with her a few hours later after she gets drunk. For the ladies, they put on their bathing suit and hope to meet a hot guy, hoping he's not filming you for Girls Gone Wild.

Spring Break is usually so wild and so debaucherous that its primary sponsors should be Valtrex and Trojan.

by [e-mail] March 18, 2009

Jet Blue

A low fare airline based in Kew Gardens, Queens of New York City. JFK International Airport is its hub. Began operating in 2000, it has earned profits every year. It is a major competetor to Southwest Airines.Operates mostly Airbus 320 aircraft. It received its first black eye in February of 2007 when hundreds of passengers were stranded on the tarmac at Kennedy Airport with no running water, communication or decent service. The airline's former CEO resigned after the incident.

Jet Blue sucks. I would never fly them.

by [e-mail] August 5, 2007

Rust Belt

An area of the United States stretching from the Great Lakes to New England that has seen numerous plant closings and job losses in heavy manufacturing over the past several decades. It includes the states of Michigan, far NW Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, New York and perhaps parts of New England. The demise of the steel and auto industries has caused the biggest headaches for the area. The steel industry has been faced with tough competition from overseas markets. The situation is similar for the auto industry, except labor unions and foreign competition in auto sales have been the reason for the job losses at the "Big 3," as plants close or layoff numerous workers for cheaper labor in Mexico. The state of Michigan, especially the Detroit area has seen the most job losses in the country, thanks to the challenges of the auto industry. Much of Ohio, Western Pennsylvania and Western New York State have been hit especially hard. Detroit and Pittsburgh are the epitomes of the Rust Belt.

I used to live in the Rust Belt, but had to move out because I found a decent job.

by [e-mail] November 24, 2007

vulgarity

The only tool an ignorant and hostile person knows how to use to get their point across.

Vulgarity makes a person sound like an undeucated, ignorant, hostile idiot who needs his mouth washed out with soap.

by [e-mail] May 5, 2008

Detroit Lions

An NFL team that has a God-given talent for knowing how to lose games. They ALWAYS find a way to lose after leading in the fourth quarter. A rival team to the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers.

The Detroit Lions are probably the best of the worst teams in the NFL.

by [e-mail] August 21, 2007

urban sprawl

When formerly rural areas are threatened by the encroachment of urban areas. Happens when people move and commute further and further away from the city, soon to be followed by strip malls, Walmart, cookie-cutter housing developments and SUVS driven by soccer moms and corporate fatcats. Some people complain that it also causes higher taxes, higher crime and pollution.

Urban sprawl happens near every city of reasonable size but occurs the fastest in the Sun Belt. Urban sprawl is addressed in the song "They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot."

by [e-mail] January 13, 2008