self-improvement 

v.
Masturbation.
Now self-destruction...

Self-improvement is masturbation... Now self-destruction...

self-improvement by dip June 29, 2004

self-improvement 

n. (noun)

1. The act to make changes to one's lifestyle positively. This is not limited to exercise, taking up a new hobby, participating in more social events, meditation, adding an extra-curricular, or intellectual enrichment.

2. A really good excuse to cop-out and leave a relationship, disguised under the pretense of definition 1. Leaving the significant other in a fashion that does not sound as threatening as "Let's be friends."

1. "I've gained some weight over the past couple months. I think I'm going to start hitting the gym and getting back in church to try and get out of this rut. So hopefully, this works instead of one of those bullshit self-improvement classes. "

2. Emily told Dustin she was breaking up with him because she needed to improve herself. In actuality, Emily improved herself by dumping Dustin in a clever self-improvement ruse he would accept without knowing her true intentions.

self-improvement by MagicalPiano August 22, 2010

Self improvement 

Nah I would get a lot of shit from you guys for not doing the self improvement thing.

Hym "I'm not willing to do the self improvement thing for free anymore. I'm going to need some goth booty. Or some kind of booty equivalent. Like, some asmrtist booty or maybe some hispanic cleaning lady booty. But I don't know. I just... How about this: For every 1 booty of this 👆 caliber I receive, I will do 1000 push ups before collecting any subsequent booty. How does that sound? .... On second thought, 500 push ups. I'm thinking like 100 a day and I'm just not going to wait 10 days for subsequent booty. So, 500 per booty and the genius money factory will get in shape."

Self improvement by Hym Iam February 18, 2023

self improvement 

Is masturbation. (Now self destruction is the answer.)

Self improvement, such as working out is as useless as masturbation. All it does is make you feel good about yourself, but in reality accomplishes nothing.

self improvement by Tyler Nedrud October 31, 2007

Self improvement 

Again, not everyone who sleeps with a lot of women is working to improve themselves.

Hym “What do I have to offer? Before I answer I want to preface what I’m about to say and then I’m going to levy some follow up questions. Even if I had all of the money in the world you wouldn’t get a cent of it. You’re not particularly attractive and you don’t select based on self improvement. What exactly are your standards, objectively? And I don’t mean the standards you purport to have. I mean who have you ACTUALLY fucked that you think is better than me? And what about YOU makes you think YOU’RE interesting? There are literally movies and songs and anime about me. I’m interesting by default. The very content of my being has inspired more things than you’ll ever create. Genetically, I mean, I would say... genius intellect, perfect eye sight (neither of which you have), bone structure of a Brazilian male model. Socially? A rapier wit, profound dialogical prowess, and the ability to navigate exceedingly complex social situations... It’s not that I expect you to ‘lower your standards’ it’s that I don’t believe that you have standards outside of a fat cock and money. What I believe is that you are a whore with a fat cock discount.”

Self improvement by Hym Iam October 16, 2022

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020