Definitions by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09

faceboning 

n. The term that is used when someone hooks up with someone via facebook. Also known as "facebook fuck buddies".

"I just added this hoe to my friends on facebook and we're already making plans on when and where we're going to fuck. Ima faceboning muthafucka!"

faceboning by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 March 29, 2011

Clusterfuck 

Government. Also can be used to described management or any chaotic situation involving many people. AKA "clusters".

The United States Government is a clusterfuck.

Clusterfuck by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 15, 2010

Lowe's Home Improvement

The epitome of ass-kissery. As soon as you walk into a Lowe's, your ass saturated with the spit of every employee that crosses your path; but it is not their fault, because it is what they have been constantly told to do every day. Lowe's is built upon the model of "excellent, excruciatingly-paranoid, money-pinching, annoying, ass-kissing, customer-focus". The best thing to do when you see a "red vest" is to cut a corner and run. These people are already stressed enough with the dumbass questions that get flung at them every day so one more question is just one more reason for them to eat a bullet.

Customer walks in Lowe's:

"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH Lowe's Home Improvement WAREHOUSE! WE HAVE LOTS OF ITEMS TO HELP YOUR EVERY NEED FOR EVERY SITUATION! HOW MAY WE BE OF SERVICE TO YOU TODAY SIR OR MA'AM???"

Customer: Holy fucking ass crackers! Can I not look at the fucking power tools without being bombarded by damn service? Fuck this I'm going to Home Depot where people leave me the hell alone!

Lowe's Home Improvement by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 12, 2010

Blowed Up 

This means not only to be stoned or drunk or pilled up, its a combination of one or another. This usually means to smoke weed until your mind is fucking warped and when that happens you cool yourself off with a 12 pack of beer, thusly completing the "blowed up" process. Practice this method with your friends and see what kind of interesting combinations you can come up with.

Gary: Dude I'm at Jr's gettin' blowed up. 6 percodan, 8 beers, and 4 bowls. Still standin' tall. BERNT. Don't talk shit about total!

Dillon: I'll be there in 5 minutes

Blowed Up by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 6, 2010

Get Twisted 

This is from one of those dumbass "Above the Influence" commercials where the kids are sitting in a diner and one says to another "hey we about to go get twisted, you in?". The definition of "twisted" is never revealed, which confuses the audience because, frankly, nobody in history has ever said they are getting fucking twisted.

Stereotypical Black kid 1: Aye Mane we bout to go get twisted, you in?

Stereotypical Black kid 2: What the fuck? Are you hitting one me? I told yo gay ass I don't go that way! Shit I'm bout to get high and say fuck yall niggas. You can go twist ya dicks together for all I care!

Get Twisted by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 6, 2010

Rusty Saxophone 

Rusty Saxophone is similar to a Rusty Trombone, except there is anal fellatio and fingering with no reach around, whilst giving the male excruciating blue balls due to the non pleasure of the genitalia.

Your mom is terrible at the Rusty Trombone! She gave me something I had to add to Urban Dictionary! I call it a Rusty Saxophone. My balls hurt so fucking bad.

Rusty Saxophone by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 6, 2010

Rusty Cello 

It is the same as the Rusty Violin, except the user is of larger stature.

Your mom's fatass gave herself a rusty cello. How does it feel knowing what I do to your mother when you are not around?

Rusty Cello by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 6, 2010