Leafism
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Jack Leafism
The belief of leaves like Jack Leaf. Someone apart of this religion is called a "Leafist". Jack Leaf family: Jack Earth, Jack Forest, Jack Tree, Jack Branch, Jack Stick, Jack Leaf, Jack Plant and Jack Chloroplast. All leaves have been created by Jack Leaf and have come from his ejaculate when he "goons". When he has sexual intercourse with his wife Jackline Leaf, he creates new sons (think about it). All of this information has been passed and confirmed by the Leaf family.
Oliver: Yo! What's your religion?
Simon: Oh. It's Jack Leafism.
Oliver: That's so cool. I actually am a Leafist too!
Simon: Oh. It's Jack Leafism.
Oliver: That's so cool. I actually am a Leafist too!
Jack Leafism by jackleaflover1345 May 2, 2026
loafism
Loafism:
(one who practices Loafism shall be called a Loafismer)
You may ask, how does one become a Loafismer? Well, an angel has this to say upon the very subject: "At worship services new members may be initiated into Loafism, if found acceptable." there are no other requirements because we don't need a better reason.
A set of beliefs one can follow, but you really don't have to, these are purely suggestions.
Loafism and the Individual:
A List of commandments:
-Thou shall worship ska, the holiest form of prayer
-Thou shall play more than one musical instrument
-Thou shall worship thine holiest form of transport, the Loafmobile (hazard lights and windshield wipers are not optional and driving forwards or using the gear symbolized by a number or the letter "D" is also generally frowned upon, seatbelts required or you may become the target of shoefu, explained later)
-Thou shalt not underestimate the awesome power of sleep
-Thou shalt not perform chores, or appear to find solace in chores
-Thou Shalt not enjoy homework.... ever!
If you fail to heed these
You may end up getting yourself "Loafed"
Loafed: to be punched suddenly for an insult and or any form of disrespect. Unless the offense annoys the crap out of a fellow Loafismer, then the ritual of ShoeFu ensues, but one can forgo protocol and just skip Loafing, because there really isn't a protocol!
ShoeFu: "The national sport of Loafism which is practiced throughout most worship sessions. This competition takes place whenever a believer may get on another’s nerve, or may be practiced purely for amusement. The act of ShoeFu is accomplished by removing one’s own foot apparel and bludgeoning another fellow Loafismer."
(one who practices Loafism shall be called a Loafismer)
You may ask, how does one become a Loafismer? Well, an angel has this to say upon the very subject: "At worship services new members may be initiated into Loafism, if found acceptable." there are no other requirements because we don't need a better reason.
A set of beliefs one can follow, but you really don't have to, these are purely suggestions.
Loafism and the Individual:
A List of commandments:
-Thou shall worship ska, the holiest form of prayer
-Thou shall play more than one musical instrument
-Thou shall worship thine holiest form of transport, the Loafmobile (hazard lights and windshield wipers are not optional and driving forwards or using the gear symbolized by a number or the letter "D" is also generally frowned upon, seatbelts required or you may become the target of shoefu, explained later)
-Thou shalt not underestimate the awesome power of sleep
-Thou shalt not perform chores, or appear to find solace in chores
-Thou Shalt not enjoy homework.... ever!
If you fail to heed these
You may end up getting yourself "Loafed"
Loafed: to be punched suddenly for an insult and or any form of disrespect. Unless the offense annoys the crap out of a fellow Loafismer, then the ritual of ShoeFu ensues, but one can forgo protocol and just skip Loafing, because there really isn't a protocol!
ShoeFu: "The national sport of Loafism which is practiced throughout most worship sessions. This competition takes place whenever a believer may get on another’s nerve, or may be practiced purely for amusement. The act of ShoeFu is accomplished by removing one’s own foot apparel and bludgeoning another fellow Loafismer."
loafism by Kevin Hamilton December 15, 2008
Leafist
Stoner 1: Yo man have you ever tried Mr. Tusk?
Stoner 2: Nah, what's that?
Stoner 1: It's a cannabis strain. Look it up on Leafist.
Stoner 2: Nah, what's that?
Stoner 1: It's a cannabis strain. Look it up on Leafist.
Leafist by stoney_bologna August 22, 2019
Leafist
Ben: I don't really like Leafyishere.
Eddie: I will ddos you kid Leafy is the best youtuber there ever was kid.
Ben: Wow you're such a leafist.
Eddie: I will ddos you kid Leafy is the best youtuber there ever was kid.
Ben: Wow you're such a leafist.
Leafist by NothingAndNothing November 9, 2016