Henry Gates 

A recent example of how race and victimhood are so integral to Black America's interpretation of the world around them, trumping even high levels of education, wealth and success by replacing them with pride, paranoia and blame.

White officer: "Sir, we had a report of a break in. Is this your house?"

Henry Gates Jr: "RACIST! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO BLACK MEN IN AMERICA, DAMMIT! YOU THINK A BLACK MAN LIKE ME COULD NEVER LIVE IN A NICE HOME LIKE THIS?"

Officer: "No, sir, really, we had a call from your neighbor about a break-in. I just need to see some ID so that I know who you are and if this is really your house"

HGJ: "WHAT? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, PUBIC SERVANT? YOU PROBABLY MAKE LESS THAN 1% OF WHAT I DO AND IT BOTHERS YOU BECAUSE I'M BLACK, DOESN'T IT?!?"

Officer: "There's no need to shout, and this is not about race. This can be resolved if you just show me your ID..."

HGJ: "THAT IS SUCH TYPICAL WHITE BULLS**T. OF COURSE IT'S ABOUT RACE! YOU'RE JUST SO DAMN INSENSITIVE YOU CAN"T SEE IT! LISTEN, WHITEY, I AM NOT JUST A POWERFUL MAN AT HARVARD, I KNOW THE PRESIDENT, DAMMIT. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, HE'S BLACK TOO! ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE NOW?"

Officer: "Look, this is all just standard procedure, nothing else. If you don't produce some ID and calm down, I may have to arrest you."

HGJ: "YO MAMA! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE MESSING WITH? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

Officer: "Well, if you showed me your ID I would..."

HGJ: "WHAT, DO YOU THINK I'M YOU'RE SLAVE OR SOMETHING? THAT I JUST DO WHATEVER YOU SAY? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT?"

Officer: "The law."

HGJ: "THY MAMA! I DEMAND TO SEE *YOUR* ID! HA! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?"

Officer: "Fine, here's the same ID I showed you after I first knocked. Sir, if someone were breaking into your house and pretending to be you, I'm sure you would want me to verify their identity rather than take their word for it and let them loot your house, right?"

HGJ: "YOU DARE THINK THAT YOU CAN USE LOGIC ON ME? I AM A POWERFUL MAN AT HARVARD. H-A-R-V-A-R-D, DAMMIT! WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL? OH, HA, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T! SO LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU IN SIMPLE WORDS: I AM ABOVE YOU. YOU ARE NOTHING. I KNOW THE PRESIDENT. I WILL GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS!"

Officer: "You'd POLTER someone just because they're doing their job?"

HGJ: "SO BAD YOU'LL BE EMIGRATING TO MEXICO AND HOPING YOU COULD ONE DAY ASPIRE TO BECOME A STUPID WET-BACK. I CAN SAY THAT, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I AM BLACK AND A BLACK MAN CANNOT BE A RACIST"

Black Bystander: "This man is embarassing me and my race... may I suggest you use your nightstick, officer?"

Henry Gates by figurinoutlife July 28, 2009

Henry Louis Gates 

Not actually a black militant as the other definition might suggest, but rather the intellectual equivalent of Uncle Tom, a book-smart house negro professor of negro studies who thinks Africa is one country full of ignant chimps that only his white masters can save.

"Isn't Henry Louis Gates, Jr. a black intellectual."

"Actually he's just an uncle tom."

Henry Louis Gates by RealBlackMarxist November 21, 2011

Henry Louis Gates 

A noted scholar at Harvard on African-American culture that recently got called out hard for trying to stage a racial oppression incident after being asked for ID in his own home by an officer responding to a 911 burglary call. Instead of just showing his ID, being respectful, and moving on as most reasonable people would, he assumed that the officer's default setting was "racist," and proceeded to throw a temper tantrum in public that eventually led to his arrest. He has radical associations with black militants and Marxists and has made many racially inflammatory statements over the years. He also is a personal friend of Barack Obama and held a fundraiser for him.

Cop: "Good afternoon sir, how are you today!"

Henry Louis Gates: "Fuck you racist! Look see! We still need affirmative action! This cop is profiling me!"

Henry Louis Gates by RME1976 July 27, 2009

The Henry Games 

Takes place on April 11th in rural Montana. All Henrys will be forced to participate in The Henry Games. There are too many Henrys and they need to be cut down.

“Dude, I can’t wait for The Henry Games. Who are you rooting for?”
“Henry for sure.”

The Henry Games by Henry1636 November 25, 2022