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Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness 

Based off of Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness, this scale is a measurement of how dark one's World Wide Web content can get without being mentally perturbed. It is typically described as a 1-to-10 scale with a single example from each level.

1. Google - What the fuck are you, Amish?

2. Youtube - Yawn.

3. Youporn - You've experienced a taste of the dark side of the Internet, but there's still a long ways to fall.

4. /b/ - The level where most Internet Veterans find themselves comfortable. Yeah, something funny here, something disgusting there, but you've seen it all before.

5. Goatse - You're a grizzled vet. As for the previous tiers, you might've been disgusted...when you were ten.

6. 2girls1cup - As the masses comment about how terrible this is, you simply scratch your head, and wonder what the big deal is.

7. Adultfanfiction.net - I'm starting to worry about you, man. I mean, you didn't flinch at all at the three paragraph description of how the once-transparent lube became chocolate as Adam and Chris simultaneously forced their penises down Jake's virgin asshole? You're either really brave, or really crazy.

8. Beastality - Just...stay away from me. Please.

9. Pain Olympics - Alternatively known as the John McCain tier, for not even years as a POW may prepare you for this level.

10. 3guys1hammer - Get a gun, rest the barrel in your oral cavity, and pull the trigger. You should survive the shot, for no mortal could survive this level.
Individuals as described by the Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness:

Your Grandparents - 1

Your Dad - 2.5

Newfag - 4

Oldfag - 5

Auschwitz Survivor - 8

Infant Rapist - 9

The Antichrist - 10

Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness 

The Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness displays the scratch resistance of various minerals through the ability of a harder material to scratch a softer material. It was created in 1812 by geologist Friedrich Mohs. It lists ten minerals, ranging from Talc (Softest Known Mineral) at 1 to Diamond (Hardest Known Mineral) at 10.
Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness is as follows:

1 - Talc
2 - Gypsum
3 - Calcite
4 - Fluorite
5 - Apatite
6 - Orthoclase Feldspar
7 - Quartz
8 - Topaz
9 - Corundum
10 - Diamond

Law of conservation of hardness 

Law of conservation of hardness says that when one man gets a hard-on, another man has to become soft.
"Foster was banging this hot chick the other day when I walked in on them. I was watching them going at it and was getting a hard-on and at that same moment foster saw me there with a boner a lost his boner. This is the Law of conservation of hardness at its best."

HardEggInAss&CoathangerSyndrome 

I was feeling rather horny, so I shoved a hard-boiled egg in my butt on a whim. It gave me the satisfaction I craved, but to my horror, when I tried to get it out, I discovered that it was lodged in my rectum.

This was around four hours ago, and the egg is still in there. I'm getting very scared. What should I do?
Update: I just tried fishing it out with a coat hanger, and it became snagged. I am bleeding profusely.
You Just Did A HardEggInAss&CoathangerSyndrome

hardness 

Resistance of a material to local plastic deformation
Diamond has a greater hardness than any other natural material.
hardness by Douglas Cheaterson October 25, 2007

hardnesscore 

Used in online gaming to describe something that is hardcore. In online gaming it is popular to add extra syllables onto or in this case into existing words.
Kenny is hardnesscore.
hardnesscore by Wester97 March 30, 2004