hardness 

Resistance of a material to local plastic deformation

Diamond has a greater hardness than any other natural material.

hardness by Douglas Cheaterson October 25, 2007

Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness 

Based off of Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness, this scale is a measurement of how dark one's World Wide Web content can get without being mentally perturbed. It is typically described as a 1-to-10 scale with a single example from each level.

1. Google - What the fuck are you, Amish?

2. Youtube - Yawn.

3. Youporn - You've experienced a taste of the dark side of the Internet, but there's still a long ways to fall.

4. /b/ - The level where most Internet Veterans find themselves comfortable. Yeah, something funny here, something disgusting there, but you've seen it all before.

5. Goatse - You're a grizzled vet. As for the previous tiers, you might've been disgusted...when you were ten.

6. 2girls1cup - As the masses comment about how terrible this is, you simply scratch your head, and wonder what the big deal is.

7. Adultfanfiction.net - I'm starting to worry about you, man. I mean, you didn't flinch at all at the three paragraph description of how the once-transparent lube became chocolate as Adam and Chris simultaneously forced their penises down Jake's virgin asshole? You're either really brave, or really crazy.

8. Beastality - Just...stay away from me. Please.

9. Pain Olympics - Alternatively known as the John McCain tier, for not even years as a POW may prepare you for this level.

10. 3guys1hammer - Get a gun, rest the barrel in your oral cavity, and pull the trigger. You should survive the shot, for no mortal could survive this level.

Individuals as described by the Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness:

Your Grandparents - 1

Your Dad - 2.5

Newfag - 4

Oldfag - 5

Auschwitz Survivor - 8

Infant Rapist - 9

The Antichrist - 10

Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness by World Wide Web Guide January 6, 2013

Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness 

The Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness displays the scratch resistance of various minerals through the ability of a harder material to scratch a softer material. It was created in 1812 by geologist Friedrich Mohs. It lists ten minerals, ranging from Talc (Softest Known Mineral) at 1 to Diamond (Hardest Known Mineral) at 10.

Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness is as follows:

1 - Talc
2 - Gypsum
3 - Calcite
4 - Fluorite
5 - Apatite
6 - Orthoclase Feldspar
7 - Quartz
8 - Topaz
9 - Corundum
10 - Diamond

Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness by Some you'll never meet January 5, 2013

Law of conservation of hardness 

Law of conservation of hardness says that when one man gets a hard-on, another man has to become soft.

"Foster was banging this hot chick the other day when I walked in on them. I was watching them going at it and was getting a hard-on and at that same moment foster saw me there with a boner a lost his boner. This is the Law of conservation of hardness at its best."

Law of conservation of hardness by PK001 March 4, 2008

shore hardness 

When your dick gets hard while you're at the beach.

When a man gets an erection while at the beach. Typically while wearing swim trunks.

"Hey man come look at the crab I found."

"Can't dude, I got shore hardness."

"oh, yeah I saw that milf walk by too."

"How do you keep from getting shore hardness when you go to those nude beaches?"

"Easy, I just jack off before."

shore hardness by fufuckifiknoe June 25, 2017

Captain Jack Harkness 

A character in the popular BBC series of Doctor Who and the spin off Torchwood. Played by John Barrowman, MBE. Captain Jack first appeared in the episode " The Empty Child" . Unfortunately Jack dies in his travels with the Doctor but is reserected by Rose when she absorbs the time vortex , it is later discovered that he is immortal. In the Future Jack is knowen as the face of Boe. Jack is the first non-heterosexual character in Doctor Who. A flirt Jack has often been referred to as a "walking innuendo".

Jack: Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?
Martha: Martha Jones.
Jack: Nice to meet you Martha Jones.
The Doctor: Oh don't start!
Jack: I was only saying hello.
Martha: I don't mind.
Jack: Doctor.
The Doctor: Captain.
Jack: Good to see you.
The Doctor: And you. Same as ever. Although. Have you had work done?
Jack: You can talk.

Captain Jack Harkness by TheNerp December 20, 2014

harkness test

The test (which was first coined on tumblr) that monster-fuckers take when determining if they can fuck the fictional creature in questions or not. To be fuckable, the creature must:
1. Have human intelligence (or “greater”)
2. Talk or otherwise communicate with language*
3. Be of sexual maturity for its species.

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you may fuck the creature. If you answered no to any of them, you probably don’t wanna fuck it out of the possibility of beastiality or pedophilia.

*Body language is a dangerous road. Err on the side of caution.

Tumblr user: man i wanna fuck the Loch Ness monster so bad.

Reasonable person: woah man be careful. it doesn’t pass the harkness test.

harkness test by imsorrymom July 20, 2019