Haptoid

A feeling a of knowing what you are so you can you can annoy your wife

"I'm a haptoid?" "No you're atopic" "oh I thought it was haptoid"

Haptoid by Laiboo October 24, 2025

haptodysphoria 

An unpleasant sensation caused by touching certain materials like velvet, peaches, or velour. Haptodysphoria is neither a fear nor slang, and shouldn't be in this dictionary.

haptodysphoria: "I'm haptodysphoric, which means I hate touching certain kinds of materials."

haptodysphoria by melquíades February 20, 2008

Whats The Haploid?

Another way of saying “What’s up?”, “What’s the move?”, or “What’s happenin’?”

“Hey man! Whats the haploid?”
“Not much. How ‘bout you?”

Whats The Haploid? by Swanky Cookie March 27, 2019

haploid

Describes one who has half the number of chromosomes that they should have. Akin to calling someone a retard and/or a freak of nature. Can also be used to imply that one is inbred.

"Don't you fucking look at me, you haploid circus clown!"

haploid by Doomus May 22, 2016

Harvesting Haploids 

Harvesting Haploids is a term that relates to male masturbation - at the height of which haploid cells are expelled at speeds as high as 25 miles per hour.

See also gathering gametes

Dick: Hey Peter you want to play some COD?
Peter: Not right now, I'm busy harvesting haploids.

Harvesting Haploids by RM 3435 September 22, 2010

haptodysphoria 

Fear of fuzzy fruits and or fuzzy surfaces.

I have an extreme haptodysphoria (fear of kiwi's and peaches). My friends chase me around with them. I lock myself in the bathroom.

haptodysphoria by Stef B. August 31, 2006

haptodysphoria 

(hap-toe-dies-for-ee-ah)

An odd sensation felt by certain people when handling peaches or other fuzzy surfaces.

Man the way he handles my haptodysphoria is like "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Yo' check out the haptodysphoria on that one. a lil fuzz is all it does.

Thats some sexy haptodysphoria for you Buddie.

haptodysphoria by didelphiaKjean April 18, 2010