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Sammy Hagar paradox 

First seen in his song entitled "I Can't Drive 55" it describes the notion that it is physically impossible for Sammy Hagar to travel at the speed of 55 mph (miles per hour). No matter what mode of transportation whether it is a car, bike, airplane, etc, it is impossible for him to travel exactly 55 mph. The speedometer on any transportation device that Sammy Hagar occupies will never read the speed of 55 mph. Instead it will skip over 55 mph to 56 mph or 54 mph (depending on whether the vehicle is increasing or deceasing speed). Therefore, it is thought that perhaps Sammy Hagar possess some power that allows him to bend time and space to his will, but only at the speed of 55 mph. This act of bending time and space is currently being researched by Professor Stephen Hawking the British theoretical physicist.
I saw Sammy Hagar today in his car with one foot on the brake and one on the gas and i swear that he couldn't go 55 mph...its that damn Sammy Hagar paradox

When ever Sammy Hagar looks at a 55 mph speed limit sign it spontaneously combust

You can take Sammy Hagar's licence and post his face, wanted dead or alive, but it doesn't matter because he can't drive 55
Related Words

Merle Haggard 

Something tried and true. As good as gold. Reliable.
That knot is a Merle Haggard, it will never come loose.
Merle Haggard by Patrick Roughen October 10, 2007

mad haggard

1) Whenever things get rough beyond all reasonable standards. An expression of an inability to make any headway against the fundamental ridiculousness of a shitty situation.

Pioneered by Adam and Josiah about halfway through a confusing trip in Eugene, OR, it quickly became a useful, though somewhat overused, descriptor for a lot the crap that life throws at you. It also evolved into a universal adjective to directly describe people and things as well as situations. Sometimes shortened to MH.

2) Can be used as a reply to a complaint. In this form it is descriptive, but takes on the additional sense of empathizing with the speaker, while also tacitly admitting that there isn't anything that can be done about the hopelessly fucked up situ.
A: "My shoes are untied, my headphones are all tangled, I can't find my shit, my nose is running and I don't know which way is up. I feel like a bag lady."
J: "Mad haggard, yo!"

"Damn, Roland is really pissing me off with all the bullshit he's making us do. Mad haggard--i'mma quit soon."

"George Bush is mad haggard."

J: "This sucks."
A: "MH."
mad haggard by Adamator November 10, 2008

Haggarday 

The day following a hard Friday (day or night) of drinking or other forms of debauchery, and the participants are looking and feeling haggard. The day preceding Sunday (only if previous conditions apply).
"If we drink too much, tomorrow might make for yet another Haggarday."

"Man, I got way too drunk last night. I'm not looking forward to this Haggarday."
Haggarday by Javier7 October 21, 2008
Pronounced HA-LARN. Its meaning is unknown. An obscure but popular name across Europe and America. Can be spelt with or without an 'e'.
Halarn/Halarne
Halarn by Halarn November 28, 2009

ted haggard 

Ted Arthur Haggard is an American evangelical preacher. He is also known for having fucked Mike Jones, denying it, then accepting it and subsequently resigning his leadership of the National Association of Evangelicals.
Ted Haggard: I am a deceiver and a liar. The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality...There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life.

Me: You're teh ghey. Both literally and metaphorically.

Ted Haggard: I know...
ted haggard by Rodrigoh! December 11, 2008
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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