Exius 

The most sarcastic son-of-a-bitch alive.

Also, Rebecca, why is this the first thing you googled? Ugh.

"Sadie finally managed to have a lighthearted conversation with Exius, but he kept derailing it with his incessant flood of signature actually-hilarious-jokes".

Exius by The Artiscrybre July 9, 2022

Exius 

Incessantly, unceasingly sarcastic individual known for his witty puns, clever comebacks, and clever quips. Is the kind to share about knowing at least one "hottie mcthottie".

"Sadie finally managed to have a lighthearted conversation with Exius, but couldn't keep it on track with his incessant riposte of his signature actually-hilarious-jokes".

Exius by The Artiscrybre July 9, 2022

affair excuses 

What you tell the wife when you are with your whore

- playing golf

- going for a long walk with the dogs

- at a business meeting

- going for a long lunch in the country with the best friend (one who also has a mistress)

- working late

- meeting some old boys in London

Girlfriend : i didn't see you on Thursday night. can we hook up at the weekend

Adulterer : Sure. I can get away. i'll just give the wife one of my affair excuses

affair excuses by farnham philanderer January 2, 2017

Existemy 

a enemy that needs to exist.

"The product was a existemy to humanity"

Existemy by Cryptonian Dream May 20, 2019

But eventually the word will phase from existence; and this is how the website will die. This is how everything dies. 

BLUE TEXT LMAO. BLUE TEXT

But eventually the word will phase from existence; and this is how the website will die. This is how everything dies. BLUE TEXT

But eventually the word will phase from existence; and this is how the website will die. This is how everything dies. by BLUE TEXT DUDE June 16, 2021

the bane of my existence

Something that is so disagreeable with your spirit that it feels like its existence might negate yours.

This goes further than "hate," and implies that you and the object in question are sworn enemies.

Can be used seriously or, more likely, exaggerated for comedic effect.

Wearing socks with sandals is the bane of my existence.

The iPhone's autocorrect is the bane of my existence.

Stephanie's hair is the bane of my existence.

the bane of my existence by SyntacticalNightFever October 20, 2015

WOW! YOU EXIST! 

The best compliment you can ever get from a mathematician.

For those of you who are confused, here's an explanantion:

All mathematicians, whether pure or applied mathematicians, will have studied their fair share of pure mathematics. Many mathematical theorems (statements that are shown to be unquestionably true) are of the form "There exists something in some collection of mathematical objects such that amazing property is true". This type of theorem is called an existence theorem. Essentially, when a mathematician says "WOW! YOU EXIST!" to you, they are refering to these existence theorems and that you're amazing.

In Baldi's basics, if you answer all 3 questions in the first notebook correctly, Baldi compliments you with "WOW! YOU EXIST!". I then thought Baldi was a based chad, until that impossible question...

WOW! YOU EXIST! by EpicScientician December 5, 2021