Portmeanteau of 'elite' and 'retard'. A person who takes an unusual amount of pride in being stupid. Kind of like a classhole, except an elitard is not limited to physical assholishness. The elitard takes special pride in his or her wordy, snide, commentary along with their classholish shenanigans. Occasional elitardedness on the level of class clown is welcome, although, when persistent and out of control, is usually frowned upon and will lead to you getting your ass kicked by everyone you talk to.
"Did you hear the joke Chris made about Ryan's mom?"
"Yeah, his mom just died. Chris is such an elitard. Let's beat him up."
One with a decidedly profound failure to grasp reality or with the inability to accomplish all but the most rudimentary functions of the human condition. See also, Mitt Romney.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'