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Café Ecologist
Generally, a government employee or environmental consultant who has no practical field skills or an understanding of ecology.
Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.
Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.
Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.
Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.
Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.
Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.
Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Standing at the precipice of a volcano looking down into a cauldron of boiling, angry lava.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.
Café Ecologist by The Angry Biologist October 16, 2019
Related Words
ecologist
"You don't look like one of those pasty scientists that spends all day in the lab and never has any fun."
"That's because I'm an ECOLOGIST."
"That's because I'm an ECOLOGIST."
ecologist by streamlover October 3, 2013
The Economist Magazine
A British Magazine founded in 1848. It is a weekly that provides it's readers news of World Politics, recent advances in science, ect. It is set up in 16 parts, The World this Week, Leaders, Letters, Briefing of a major topic, United States, The Americas, Asia, Middle East and Africa, Europe, Britain, International, Business, Finance and Economics, another briefing,science and Technology, Books and Arts, Economic and Financial Indicators, and Obituary. Every once and a while there is also a 14 to 18 page section on a specific topic, and quarterly some articles from a sister magazine, Intelligent Life.
The Economist Magazine by Dasichferbotten October 31, 2011
fuel economist
"I get gas whereever I need to; I'm not gonna bend over backwards to save, like, a dollar, cuz I'm no fuel economist"
fuel economist by PositiveZero April 1, 2008
Armchair Economist
Any person who does not have the intelligence or experience to even begin to understand the world's economies but decides their opinions are what will return the world to a time of prosperity anyway. These people often make no effort to even consider the possibility that people who do this for a living are acting in the best interest of the majority.
I heard some armchair economist say, "if the government gave everyone a new Chevy, that would fix the economy".
Armchair Economist by T_i_m_o March 20, 2009
meme economist
meme economist by Crongemaster June 1, 2017
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Slop Grenade
When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.
Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
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