When two people interlock faces such that each of their mouths is close to the other's ear. This is generally the only way to have a conversation in a crowded club or bar.
"I got the digits of this girl that was probably pretty hot. I'm not sure though, I didn't get a good look at her since we had to ear-69 to talk."
by PositiveZero June 19, 2008
Get the ear-69 mug.The observed phenomenon that the shit cycles of men who coexist together (such as in prisons, convents, bordellos, dormitories, etc.) will tend to become synchronized over time.
Guy 1: I gotta take a shit.
Guy 2: Whatever, dude - you know the boss is gonna follow you right in, right?
Guy 1: Yeah, fecal synchrony is a bitch.
Guy 2: Whatever, dude - you know the boss is gonna follow you right in, right?
Guy 1: Yeah, fecal synchrony is a bitch.
by PositiveZero March 07, 2007
Get the fecal synchrony mug.Almost having sex, but having the universe dick you over in some way. Like, so close that, could you freeze-frame the moment and displace a single electron one nanometer, sex would've occurred.
Guy1: She was totally into it, but wanted to wait until the next day to do it for the first time. Then she got back together with her boyfriend the next morning.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
by PositiveZero January 13, 2009
Get the quantum-fucked mug.The most flaccid statement in all of history. It is scientifically impossible to fit more ridiculous into three fucking words.
"Wait, so if nothing is impossible, is it possible that something IS impossible? Man, what the fuck."
by PositiveZero April 10, 2008
Get the Nothing is Impossible mug.The most dreaded words in the English language. May be used by:
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
Boss: Sooo where do we stand? Did you implement that absurdly disinteresting software feature?
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
by PositiveZero March 17, 2007
Get the where do we stand? mug.Complete engrossment in one's Blackberry, resulting in voluntary blindness and total ignorance of one's environment.
VJ: Dude why did you plow over that old lady?
Mike: I just had to finish the last line of that email. Total blackberry blindness.
Mike: I just had to finish the last line of that email. Total blackberry blindness.
by PositiveZero April 11, 2008
Get the Blackberry blindness mug.Spending over $100,000 in taxpayer funds to implement a shit collection of shit band-aid solutions on some existing piece of fucking shit.
Gov guy 1: "Man, I can't believe you spent a hundred bucks on that piece of shit car."
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, it's not gonna work. We better invest a few hundred K in improving it."
Gov guy 1: "You know you can get a solid, working car for $10,000, right?"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, but then I'd have to admit that I threw away that initial hundred bucks, and I'm much too proud. So, you know, I'ma implement The Platinum Solution"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, it's not gonna work. We better invest a few hundred K in improving it."
Gov guy 1: "You know you can get a solid, working car for $10,000, right?"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, but then I'd have to admit that I threw away that initial hundred bucks, and I'm much too proud. So, you know, I'ma implement The Platinum Solution"
by PositiveZero April 14, 2008
Get the The Platinum Solution mug.