PositiveZero's definitions
One motivated by nothing but money (and maybe sex). An otherwise empty vessel that contributes next to nothing to process that he profits from.
Guy 1: The placement agent I talked to was all over the place when it came to how much money the position offered. Seems like he was just trying to placate me
Guy 2: Um, yeah. He's a headhunter, dude. In an industry of motherfucking vermin, he is the lowest of the fucking low. A bottomfeeder. Scum of the earth, man; a total greedtomaton.
Guy 2: Um, yeah. He's a headhunter, dude. In an industry of motherfucking vermin, he is the lowest of the fucking low. A bottomfeeder. Scum of the earth, man; a total greedtomaton.
by PositiveZero April 17, 2008

So the guy just picked up this clearly male squirrel, broke its neck, set it on fire, and started buttfucking it, cuz he's into homopyronecrobeastiality.
by PositiveZero November 1, 2005

To give up, or entirely avoid, trying to instruct/enlighten a person because it's likely to be too much work.
Strong Mad: ::etching DAGRON into a desk::
Strong Bad: Strong Mad? You keep on doing your thing, man.
---
Incompetent employee: I've been copying and pasting data from the database into Word in order to build this ridiculously long set of database insert statements.
Competent employee: You know there are tools you can use to do that more intelligently?
Incompetent employee: There's what I can what to what?
Competent employee: ::walks away, shakes head:: Never mind, just keep plugging along, sport.
Strong Bad: Strong Mad? You keep on doing your thing, man.
---
Incompetent employee: I've been copying and pasting data from the database into Word in order to build this ridiculously long set of database insert statements.
Competent employee: You know there are tools you can use to do that more intelligently?
Incompetent employee: There's what I can what to what?
Competent employee: ::walks away, shakes head:: Never mind, just keep plugging along, sport.
by PositiveZero June 19, 2008

The most flaccid statement in all of history. It is scientifically impossible to fit more ridiculous into three fucking words.
"Wait, so if nothing is impossible, is it possible that something IS impossible? Man, what the fuck."
by PositiveZero April 10, 2008

The most dreaded words in the English language. May be used by:
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
Boss: Sooo where do we stand? Did you implement that absurdly disinteresting software feature?
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
by PositiveZero March 17, 2007

Spending over $100,000 in taxpayer funds to implement a shit collection of shit band-aid solutions on some existing piece of fucking shit.
Gov guy 1: "Man, I can't believe you spent a hundred bucks on that piece of shit car."
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, it's not gonna work. We better invest a few hundred K in improving it."
Gov guy 1: "You know you can get a solid, working car for $10,000, right?"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, but then I'd have to admit that I threw away that initial hundred bucks, and I'm much too proud. So, you know, I'ma implement The Platinum Solution"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, it's not gonna work. We better invest a few hundred K in improving it."
Gov guy 1: "You know you can get a solid, working car for $10,000, right?"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, but then I'd have to admit that I threw away that initial hundred bucks, and I'm much too proud. So, you know, I'ma implement The Platinum Solution"
by PositiveZero April 14, 2008

Sexual attraction to extraterrestrials.
You think your girlfriend's a freak? Mine's into xenophilia - I have to wear green antennae every time I wanna have sex.
by PositiveZero December 3, 2005
