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dont ever 

Checklists of things never do if you say that you say that you love someone or are in fact in love with them; Doing any of these things just proves the complete opposite:

cheat on them, ignore them, don't communicate with them for more than a day, lie to them, hide your feelings from them, say that you are busy, forget things that you've both talked about, text only and not call, not include them in your life, shut them out, don't confide in them, don't appreciate them, ignore them or their attempts to be close to you, push them away, fear love, fear the future with them, question what it is that you both are in, hurt them at their most vulnerable moment, demean them, think that they are less than or not worthy of you, take the easy way out, joke about intimate things shared between you two, pick on their weaknesses or any type of behavior that diminishes what once was a beautiful, amazing, loving thing shared between you two.
If it's so difficult to let go of...dont ever do those things again. Those things destroy something that could have been amazing, special and epic.
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Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station

Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station bro. If the n*gga ain't in yo contacts, don't never go to the gas station bro. i went up there at 11 o'clock last night, tried to get me some weed, well i smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here, and my other eye still right here. Explain bro! I got to go look for this n*gga bro! What the fuck did you send me bro! Look at me bro!

I'm HIDEOUS!
friend 2: bro what happened to your eye?

friend 1: Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station bro. If the n*gga ain't in yo contacts, don't never go to the gas station bro. i went up there at 11 o'clock last night, tried to get me some weed, well i smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here, and my other eye still right here. Explain bro! I got to go look for this n*gga bro! What the fuck did you send me bro! Look at me bro! I'm HIDEOUS!

person 2: ok

Don't ever play yourself 

A phrase used to warn somebody not to reveal weaknesses that they might have such as planning their own surprise party or eating a McDonalds after working out. Dj Khaled is the spokesperson for not playing yourself.
-"I miss my bitch so much, I want her back homie."
Reply: "Nigga you broke up with her. Don't ever play yourself man."

Don't EVER say that to my face again 

Garreth: This lane is nice and cool
Ginger Ale: Yes this lane is nice and cool
Garreth: Don't EVER say that to my face again

don't ever change 

What people write in your yearbook when they don't really know you and are trying to think of something nice to say.
Kristen didn't actually know Molly, so when Molly asked her to sign her yearbook, Kristen wrote:

Hey, Molly! We had a great year, huh? You're such a cool person. Don't ever change. HAGS!

I dont discriminate, I regulate every shade of the ass 

More truer words have never been spoken.

Meaning, you find people of all races, cultures, nationalities, backgrounds, etc. attractive. Instead of only being romantically involved with people of your own race/culture, you find people of all races/cultures equally attractive, so you date people of your culture, in addition to people of other cultures.

I don't limit myself romantically with only one group of people or prejudge anyone. I find everyone beautiful no matter where the person comes from, and that's how it should be imo. As long as you have similar interests, the fact that you come from different backgrounds shouldn't matter.
__________

"I love from butter pecan to black berry molass,
I dont discriminate, I regulate every shade of the ass,
Long as you show class and pass my test,
Fat ass and breast, highly intelligent bachelorettes,
Thats the best I won't settle for less,
I wanna ghetto brunette, with unforgettable sex,
I lay your head on my chest, come feel my heartbeat,
We can park the jeep, pump Mobb Deep, and just spark the leaf"
---Lyrics taken from the song "Still not a player" by the rapper Big Pun

Who ever cared about your life? Oh wait, you don't even have a life! 

A very original roast.
Who ever cared about your life? Oh wait, you don't even have a life!
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