DFLTFH 

Die From Laughing Too Fucking Hard,

basically the next version up from lol, rotfl, lmao, etc.

A: A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

b: DFLTFH!!!

DFLTFH by jmaidontknow January 2, 2006

dftfh 

Drinking From The Fire Hose
TLA for any situation where a very large flow of information is coming your way, and you have to retain some part while simultaneously keeping from being overwhelmed.

"John has two weeks to learn how to do a whole new job. He's really DFTFA"

dftfh by R. Bemrose July 16, 2005