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Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
Related Words

Crabs in the bucket 

People who are stuck in bad situations. Who drag you down with them

Comes from what happens when u place crabs in a bucket. One trys to escape the others grab their legs and try to escape so it ends up they all never get out.
Them people they just crabs in the bucket. U gotta get away from them
The English transposition of the series of emojis, πŸ†‘πŸ†ŽπŸ†˜, often used as a contextless expression.
Social media user: *posts anything*

Commenter: Clabsos

Cubs Tickets 

Slang term for marijuana. Named after the Chicago Cubs baseball team. The term is intentionally misleading so users can talk about it in public. Higher grades of marijuana are refered to as "good seats" or "skybox seats", whereas lower quality is refered to as "cheap seats".
Lets go pick up some cubs tickets.

These are some great cubs tickets.
Cubs Tickets by Lord Blasphemy June 18, 2008

Chicago Cubs

A team that finally won a World Series after not winning one for 108 years
Finally I can die in peace after the Chicago Cubs won the World Series
Chicago Cubs by WWF Attitude February 21, 2017

Crabslap 

The act of slapping a sexual partner in the face with crab meat in a sexual manner.
After my anal discharge Hunter crabslaps me in the face.
Crabslap by Rageyy December 27, 2010