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When ya mates cooked but is also a dickhead
'FUCK MATE YOU'RE COOCKED OF YA HEAD'
Words you can keep

Cooked your own spleen 

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"
Related Words

Cooked cunt 

Someone that is fried on drugs, usually meth or weed. Often looks and acts mentally disabled.
"Fuck off ya cooked cunt, ya nearly broke the bong"

Often used in a friendly way amongst Australians. "How ya been ya cooked cunt?"

cocked ace-deuce 

Wearing one's hat slightly tilted to the side in a fly manner.
Today I saw Michael and MaxT walking with a swagger on the Westside of Chicago with their hats cocked ace-deuce.

ace-deuce
cocked ace-deuce by StevieJT July 28, 2009

half-cocked 

Entering a situation without being fully prepared.
Origin: Muskets and revolvers have a lowered, half-cocked, and full-cock position for the hammer. During loading, the weapon is brought to a half-cock. The weapon must then be brought to a full-cock to be used. Forgetting to cock the weapon leads to it being unprepared for combat.
The boxer did'nt do any research on his opponent, and went off half-cocked to fight somebody twice his size.
half-cocked by moniker19 January 21, 2009

cooched up 

When something or someone makes your peepee stand up
Mrs.G got me cooched up bruh! or Yo Chuy you got me cooched up!
cooched up by IEatBurgar December 6, 2019
Predominantly used in London.
To 'clock' is: to realise, to catch on, to notice.
1.) Shit! he clocked that i stole his phone.
2.) She clocked that something was wrong.
Clocked by martelldesu March 19, 2015
More from Urban Dictionary

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
West Midlands slang word for rockers, bikers, greasers etc. In the late 1980s it was used by the UK music press to refer to a specific scene centered around the bands Pop Will Eat Itself and Crazyhead. The term never found favour with readers of 'the inkies' (Sounds, Melody Maker and the still extant NME) and was soon dropped. Now often used in predominantly working-class areas of the midlands and the north to mean someone who listens to rock-derived music and/or dresses in a manner that suggests they affiliate themselves with rock music of some kind.
Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!
grebo by cactuscat September 15, 2006
Word of the Day on August 24, 2026

TikTok Farlands

TikTok Farlands is a term to refer to videos that you see after scrolling for a long time. These videos can potentially be disturbing, or weird. Said videos can also have low likes, or low comments.
“I reached the TikTok Farlands bro
Word of the Day on August 23, 2026
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