ballmer 

unexpected or repeated short (or no) work day

Given the boring work week he pulled a "ballmer".

ballmer by Big Daddy 70819 May 29, 2009

ballmer 

(verb) to loudly say what you wish were true, in the vain hope of convincing other people despite all evidence to the contrary.

(noun) a nonsensical or counterfactual statement uttered with an air of desperation.

(verb) 'That cute chick I met yesterday is totally going to sleep with me', ballmered Josh. 'She has the hots for me so bad.'

(noun) He didn't offer any actual facts. He just trotted out a few of the usual ballmers.

ballmer by eat more chicken March 20, 2009

Ballmer 

When you stick your finger up your asshole and shove it down someone else's mouth.

"Oh man, I totally ballmered my friend Bill last night"
"Really man? That's fucking disgusting."

Ballmer by TheBiggerC September 28, 2020

Ballmer Peak

The theory that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%. The discovery of this effect is attributed to Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft - who probably "discovered" it by simply monitoring his own perpetually inebriated nervous system, and deducing that programming ability "peaks" after a few drinks and then dips dramatically after full-blown drunkenness ensues.

If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.

Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.

I had three more Long Island Teas after I had already hit the Ballmer Peak, so now none of my fucking code will compile.

Ballmer Peak by cathodeRay February 4, 2008

Ballmer peak

A supposed "peak" in programming ability caused by alcohol. The term was coined by an XKCD web comic: http://xkcd.com/323/. The phrase is in reference to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who generally acts pretty crazy, much like an angry drunk, and hence the alcohol joke.

Somewhat ironically, Ballmer never wrote any production code while at Microsoft. His background is in business rather than engineering, though he is renowned for his ability to perform difficult mathematical calculations mentally.

I finished that programming assignment in one night thanks to the Ballmer Peak.

Man, they really must have overshot the Ballmer Peak when they wrote Vista.

Ballmer peak by colonel forbin's ascent October 23, 2008

Ballmer Peak

A "peak" in programming or other abilities caused by alcohol. The theory is that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%. Recent study's indicate that the effect may also spread to other skills; this has only been proven in the essay writing abilities of computer scientists.

After having one glass of wassail, Haley's code suddenly improved due to the Ballmer Peak.

Ballmer Peak by mikefromcanmore December 16, 2009

Ballmer Peak

A "peak" in programming or other abilities caused by alcohol. The theory is that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%.

I drank until I hit the Ballmer Peak

Ballmer Peak by vidivinchi November 1, 2010