by Big Daddy 70819 May 29, 2009
(verb) to loudly say what you wish were true, in the vain hope of convincing other people despite all evidence to the contrary.
(noun) a nonsensical or counterfactual statement uttered with an air of desperation.
(noun) a nonsensical or counterfactual statement uttered with an air of desperation.
(verb) 'That cute chick I met yesterday is totally going to sleep with me', ballmered Josh. 'She has the hots for me so bad.'
(noun) He didn't offer any actual facts. He just trotted out a few of the usual ballmers.
(noun) He didn't offer any actual facts. He just trotted out a few of the usual ballmers.
by eat more chicken March 20, 2009
The theory that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%. The discovery of this effect is attributed to Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft - who probably "discovered" it by simply monitoring his own perpetually inebriated nervous system, and deducing that programming ability "peaks" after a few drinks and then dips dramatically after full-blown drunkenness ensues.
If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.
Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.
If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.
Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.
I had three more Long Island Teas after I had already hit the Ballmer Peak, so now none of my fucking code will compile.
by cathodeRay February 4, 2008
by Jakey-Mckenzie July 12, 2008
Current CEO of computer powerhouse Microsoft. Famous on many message boards for his inspirational talk videos, in which he gets really worked up about everything. In one video, He repeats the word "developers" many times until the crowd starts chanting, and often times now people will makes jokes in reference to this video.
by Big Al P November 29, 2004
A supposed "peak" in programming ability caused by alcohol. The term was coined by an XKCD web comic: http://xkcd.com/323/. The phrase is in reference to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who generally acts pretty crazy, much like an angry drunk, and hence the alcohol joke.
Somewhat ironically, Ballmer never wrote any production code while at Microsoft. His background is in business rather than engineering, though he is renowned for his ability to perform difficult mathematical calculations mentally.
Somewhat ironically, Ballmer never wrote any production code while at Microsoft. His background is in business rather than engineering, though he is renowned for his ability to perform difficult mathematical calculations mentally.
I finished that programming assignment in one night thanks to the Ballmer Peak.
Man, they really must have overshot the Ballmer Peak when they wrote Vista.
Man, they really must have overshot the Ballmer Peak when they wrote Vista.
by colonel forbin's ascent September 10, 2008
"Do you know where Steve went?"
"Yea, he said he had to go make an Arnold Ballmer then he'll be back."
"Ah, hope it comes out alright."
"Yea, he said he had to go make an Arnold Ballmer then he'll be back."
"Ah, hope it comes out alright."
by 🅱elix June 27, 2020