Skip to main content

assistance 

When one needs assistance, they need sex.
Fundo needed assistance, but with no females handy, his right hand had to become handy.
assistance by authOOr June 23, 2006
Words you can keep

Assistance Getting Around My Home 

A way to ask for help.
X:It appears I need assistance getting around my home.
Y:Oh let me help you!

visual assistance 

(noun) Help provided in the form of showing a fellow student your answer of problem.
It's not cheating; it's visual assistance.
visual assistance by yangmeister February 7, 2009

textual assistance 

a classier term used by the upper class to refer to "sexting" the act of erotically stimulating another person from a distance via text. text can be in the form of instant messaging, text messaging, passing notes, morse code and even smoke signals. textual assistance is usually used while in a long distance relationship to keep up the guise of a "real" sex life you can discuss with your socialite friends, but also includes leaving sensual messages on your fiancé's corporate satellite phone or dirty post-its slipped to the twenty something secretary of yours you poke while your wife is at charity galas. while textual assistance can be used both to signal a booty call or nudge both parties in the direction of an orgasm...it is an essential part of the elite life.
(On a private ship at sea)

Butler : Sir, your mobile just vibrated. It appears to be a text message.

*Young heir to Fuzzy Dice empire takes one hand off the wheel of his yacht and picks up the ruby encrusted phone*

Maxwell Lucas Hetherington III : Not a text message Boothby, you silly old chap! This is textual assistance from the Princess of Luxembourg! As you can tell by the swelling in my Ferragamo's she's quite the dirty bird that one! Better swing round the cape and take a gander at that crown jewel before the cricket match!"

Editor's Note: Scriptwriters for CW's Gossip Girl recently asked for this to be used on their show to expose overweight, multi-ethnic and working class America to the wonders of "textual assistance". Angry gold leafed scrolls flooded in from all over the world to CW headquarters accusing the show of being too "tawdry" and having a multi-racial cast. For fear of losing ad revenues, it was pulled from the script.

secretarial assistance 

(verb) 1. The offer of services of a sexual nature toward a work colleague by member of the work secretarial pool;

(verb) 2. The provision of, or assistance with, sexual services from someone who is otherwise employed as a secretary.
Person 1: Has Parkie got a license to drive the bus, or is it just his mates?

Person 2: I think it is just his mates. But hey, did you hear Parkie got some secretarial assistance last night after ten-pin bowling.
secretarial assistance by choogil February 12, 2012

TAC (Technical Assistance Center) Agent 

This is a technical role, requiring previous automotive technical experience and good communication skills
TAC (Technical Assistance Center) AgentA job working in a call centre with no benefits or opportunities, for a company whose name you can't say or spell unless you have a Bombay postcode, windows optional!!
Any applicants will be accepted so long as you can avoid taking calls phone in sick every time it snows,

Technical experience is not required if you can pick up a phone and take calls you can do this job,, as the Team leaders say you are not employed to fix cars you are here to take calls,
Normally your pay would reflect your experience but not in this role, we pride ourselves at Minacs we reward the employee’s with poor attendance and very little motor trade experience who normally would be sacked in any other job because of the amount of mistakes they have made but not at Minacs we give our staff time out for someone to one table football training, and as many courses as we can get you on..
Holidays you can take them when we say you can take them but we refuse to let you have time off for funerals.
Please apply if you like crap pay no benefits

We are also seeking Parts assistance consultants
Any experience working in KFC in Luton will guarantee you a job in the parts assistance centre as long as you can release calls and not raise cases , travelling expenses to and from work will be paid if your Mother's name is Debbie,

Computer Assistance 

The term used for the 1999 NFL Blitz sony playstation game when a game starts to get out of hand and the losing team miraculously starts scoring and causing turnovers. When this happens it is due to Computer assistance. Once a team is up 14 pts computer assistance will cause the losing team to score, and it is inevitable.
McCabe was smoking T at NFL Blitz 41-28 and then out of no where he gave up 3 interceptions lost the game. McCabe blamed the loss totally on Computer Assistance.
Computer Assistance by McCabe March 3, 2004
More from Urban Dictionary

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
West Midlands slang word for rockers, bikers, greasers etc. In the late 1980s it was used by the UK music press to refer to a specific scene centered around the bands Pop Will Eat Itself and Crazyhead. The term never found favour with readers of 'the inkies' (Sounds, Melody Maker and the still extant NME) and was soon dropped. Now often used in predominantly working-class areas of the midlands and the north to mean someone who listens to rock-derived music and/or dresses in a manner that suggests they affiliate themselves with rock music of some kind.
Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!
grebo by cactuscat September 15, 2006
Word of the Day on August 24, 2026

TikTok Farlands

TikTok Farlands is a term to refer to videos that you see after scrolling for a long time. These videos can potentially be disturbing, or weird. Said videos can also have low likes, or low comments.
“I reached the TikTok Farlands bro
Word of the Day on August 23, 2026
Next