absorbs

Adorable Abs.

He's such a hunk, I can't keep my eyes off of his absorbs!

by AgentKurt August 24, 2023

absorbmooch

Anyone that sucks anything and everything out of someone else.

The fortythree year old absorbmooch had no guilty feelings about living in mom and dads basement.

by jpg3 November 1, 2011

absorbent thong

For those sassy seniors who have had it with those disturbingly obvious adult diapers.....say hello to Absorbent Thong! Our patented shoestring suction technology consumes every ounce of urine or poop it encounters!

I haven't felt like I was this young and sexy since i was young thanks to absorbent thong...did i leave the oven on?

Dude...check out that sweet ass!
Dude...shes like 70!!
I'd do her!!
Me too!!
Here's to Absorbant Thong!!

by Lunicus December 3, 2011

paradox-absorbing crumple zones

What Robot Santa's head was built with in Futurama

Leela: Consider this. You destroy those you deem to be naughty, but many of those you destroy are, in fact, nice. Therefore, you are naughty and must destroy yourself.

Robot Santa: Nice try, but my head was built with paradox-absorbing crumple zones.

by Bob882 December 20, 2004

absorbanent

An improper spelling/pronunciation of "exorbitant", used by those who are not well-read to try to sound well-read.

The rent at my trailer park is downright absorbanent, golldernit!

by Isaac Z. Schlueter June 13, 2008

Plop Absorber

The act of positioning multiple layers of toilet paper on the water surface in the toilet, creating a cushion in order to prevent the water splashing or 'plopping' when a turd hits the surface, thus avoiding a loud noise being produced. The layers of tissue act as a cushion, absorbing sound energy of the turd . The art of Plop Absorbing is particularly useful when the toilet user wishes to remain anonymous to people outside of the bathroom.

Example 1:

Arnold: "FUCK YOU NICKI! I told you I needed the toilet first!"
Nicki: "Chill your beans fag-bag, I only need a pee ."

Arnold: "You better be only needing a fucking pee!"
*Nicki commences the Plop Absorbing process*

Example 2:
>Chucky is on the toilet, while Arnold is getting ready to go to a party listening to the radio.

>*Arnold turns radio off*
>*Chucky performs the Plop Absorber as the radio will no longer camouflage the noise*

Example 3:
barack ripped the tissue segments with anger and threw them into the toilet. However, his anger had caused him to miss the water and as a result the tissues were stuck on the side of the toilet bowl. Barack had unsuccessfully executed the Plop Absorber.

by Cheesebreath101 May 9, 2011

selfie-absorbed

A person whose instagram and other social media photo galleries are filled with selfies - even including the full body mirror reflection ones. The annoying self absorbed people who chronicalize every mundane detail of their lives by posting selfies.

See exhibit A: Kim Kardashian's instagram/twitter
#selfie-absorbed

by The Cason-Point December 14, 2013