QuacksO's definitions

twitness

Derogatory term for someone whom da speaker feels is too much of a pathetic wimpy no-account to give "viable or reliable" testimony in court.

Da term "twitness" can also refer to a clueless lout who just habitually appears in court to testify at every hearing, even though he did not actually possess actual knowledge of any of said cases --- for example, in da Uncle Remus tale, "Brer Rabbit and the Calico", Brer Fox felt like a total "twitness" when --- as a result of Brer Rabbit's "trickin' him again" by showing him a sheet of paper and claiming dat it was a "sub-peena", knowing dat Brer Fox was illiterate and so he could not actually examine said page to determine whether or not it was actually an official order from da court --- he pantingly scurried over to da Fort Miller court house and was contemptuously told by da court clerk dat he was in fact NOT scheduled to testify at any hearings dat day! As he found out later, da whole thing had merely been a ruse to get Brer Fox away from his house for a while, so dat Brer Rabbit could stop by there himself and tell Brer Fox's "ol' lady" dat Brer Fox had sent her a written message (and confidently presenting her wif da very same sheet of paper as "proof" of what he was claiming, knowing dat Mrs. Fox couldn't read, either) asking her to give Brer Rabbit da sack of fresh meat dat he'd recently brought her to stash in da cool cellar for later consumption.

by QuacksO March 8, 2023

raisin Cain

Making a huge noisy fuss due to your having run out of dehydrated grapes.

Parents should think twice about reaching for the "raisin'-cane" (i.e., the "hick'ry stick" that supposedly helps in bringing up children, but often harms more that it helps; it's been outlawed in many areas of the world, thank goodness!) if their little ones start "raisin Cain" about not having sweet-tasting dried fruit to flavor their morning cereal --- just YOU have a go at trying to choke down a big bowl of unflavored oatmeal or rice, and see how well YOU like it!!!

by QuacksO December 3, 2019

labiarinth

Describes either:
(1) a non-typical configuration of a gal's "downstairs lips" dat makes for less-than-easy insertion of a guy's lulu, or

(2) da complicated series of hoops dat a particular gal makes any guy jump through before she'll agree to spread her legs for him.

Having fewer prospects to begin with, a plain-looking gal may not usually expect much initial requirement before allowing an eager stud to "proceed to fourth base" with her, but da hotter chicks tend to require a total labiarinth of specifications before they'll "surrender da goods" to any guy.

by QuacksO May 1, 2022

breathren

Fellow individuals who inhale/exhale loudly.

If something/someone disgusts or discourages you to the point of emitting loud sighs, it can help to have nearby breathren to "confirmingly" wheeze, also, and thus make you not feel like you're the only one who's less than pleased by the present situation.

by QuacksO April 9, 2022

immatearyal

What da fact dat someone presents a statement with eye-streaming sobs should be as far as whether or not you choose to believe said statement.

In da "Walrus and Carpenter" poem, da huge tusked mammal boo-hoos his way through his feast of oysters, but said copiously-blubbering performance is soon revealed to be totally immatearyal, since he is shown afterwards to not actually have been da least bit sorrowful or regretful for having shamelessly tricked said helpless bivalves into getting gluttonously consumed, and in fact, he'd actually eaten more than half of them himself, rather than sharing equally with his indifferent and unrepentant human woodworker buddy.

by QuacksO April 18, 2022

lizard people from history

If you look through the names of prominent people in the past century, you will find them --- be afraid, citizens... be **very** afraid...

Right off the bat, I can think of three examples of lizard people from history with "reptilian" names --- Leo Szilard (sure sounds a lot like "lizard" to me!), Salamander Rushdie, and Newt Gingrich! Dat's all da proof I need dat dey **do** exist and are indeed ruling --- and ruining --- our lives!

by QuacksO October 29, 2018

reasonabel

Da manner is which Cain should have been treated by his brother.

In da famous modern film, "The Straight Story", Alvin mildly "raises Cain" about how da two constantly-bickering mechanic brothers should behave in a more "reasonabel" manner towards each other.

by QuacksO October 21, 2021