QuacksO's definitions

unwrap my gift

To remove the clothing from an attractive lady, especially one whom you have either just recently met or have not previously had the privilege of undressing. Expression is used by a horny guy in an effort to portray a more "tempered" and less openly-lustful attitude/mindset to the lady, and to indicate to her that he values and appreciates her whole person, and that he wants to admire and touch her all over her body, not limiting his attentions to merely the "fun zones".

She (being led by the guy to his car): You're handsomer than you look in your online profile!
He: Well, thank you, Gorgeous --- and I must say that YOUR photos didn't do YOU justice, either --- you look even more scrumptious than I'd ever expected! Ooooooh... I just can't wait to get home so I can unwrap my gift!

by QuacksO February 2, 2013

plum tuckered

Da feeling of utter exhaustion dat you get after majorly chowing down on Australian food dat's been prepared with copious quantities of luscious juicy purple "stool-softener" fruits.

Maybe if da landowner and da "troopers, one-two-three" has simply hidden and waited till da "jolly swag-man" had boiled da "jolly jumbuck" in his "billy" and then added some fresh lavender-colored oversize tree-berries to da pot, said "gleeful" stock-rustler would have been so "plum tuckered" after greedily devouring said fruit-embellished delicacy dat he could have been arrested and hauled off to jail, instead of simply running off and drowning himself in da billabong.

by QuacksO February 7, 2020

weed the garden

To surreptitiously plant marijuana seedlings in among da "legitimate" crops dat someone is growing in their back yard, and dat they have entrusted you to tend by pulling up any foreign/wild greenery dat would sap nutrients and overgrow da soil.

Elderly housewives should be wary of younger folks who come around eagerly offering to "weed the garden"... rather than merely wanting to help out, they may actually be wishing to disguise their pot-growing endeavors by cultivating said illegals in seemingly "innocent" cultivation-plots where da DEA would presumably never look --- to these delinquents' conniving minds, who's gonna suspect a sweet little old lady who's just out tending her flowers???

by QuacksO November 24, 2022

Massochist

Someone who tortures himself by attending as many Catholic religious services as possible each day.

Being a Massochist may seem odd to some, but Big Oil loves them, since in order to "feed their habit", they are obliged to drive a multitude of miles around a large area to patronize all the Catholic churches that are holding services on that particular day.

by QuacksO July 18, 2019

Frododendron

The Hobbits' favorite flower, named in honor of the young warrior who played a pivotal role in freeing Middle Earth from the tyranny of Sauron and his henchmen.

It's easy to know if you've reached The Shire, since almost every house will have colorful Frododendrons planted out in the front yard.

by QuacksO May 29, 2019

squallternative

A more-quiet-and-dignified response than simply bawling your lungs out.

I can see infants' not being expected to "keep it down" and behave/communicate constructively and in moderation, but once a child gets to be two or three years of age, it is logical to expect that his parents should have taught him at least a few squallternatives by that time!

by QuacksO July 23, 2021

Highway Carr

One of da "four-wheeled" members of Lightning McQueen's non-human-based world; he's a talk-show host and great pal of fellow radio/TV-personalities Bob Cutlass, Darrell Cartrip, and Jay Limo.

Kidding aside, "Highway Carr" really is what I'd originally thought this radio-personality dude's "stage" name was when I first heard him on the radio, since the otherwise-clearly-speaking Howie usually pronounced his first name rather poorly. Same goes for the also-famous-in-radio (or should I say, "infamous", since he was eventually exposed as a Bernie Madeoff-type fraudster who bilked investors out of more than $24 million) Sonny Bloch, whom I'd always assumed was using the pseudonym "Sunny Block" merely to tout his financial advice, the implication being that following his investment-recommendations would "land you on a nice cheerily-bright street".

by QuacksO January 15, 2020