QuacksO's definitions
A cutting-edge-technology terrain-surveying system that measures how many pathological liars exists in a given area. Since the target-blips all look the same on the machine's display-screen and therefore cannot be differentiated from one another, however, this system is actually quite ineffective at determining specifically which people to watch out for as being truly dangerous, especially as you travel into areas with higher populations of sport-fishermen, lawyers, politicians, used-car salesman, Bible-thumpers, etc.
If an evenly-distributed few of the vast crowds who were watching the Emperor's procession had employed hand-held LieDAR systems just as soon as The Emperor had started parading down the main street while "wearing his new clothes", these reliable-technology-aided individuals could have seen for sure that everyone else was actually just fibbing about being able to see the foolish Monarch's magnificent panoply, plus, of course, they's also know for certain that their own eyes were not, in fact, playing tricks on them, either. These "vindicated skeptics" could therefore have just loudly reassured everyone else in the surrounding multitudes that their being able to see nothing but a naked fat guy ambling down the main street looking like a total jackass was in reality **totally normal**... in other words, the Emperor really and truly WAS galumphing along the avenue "sans stitches", and so everyone could then have hastily stopped all the pompous foolishness --- and possibly also caught those two scheming shifty-eyed "dream-weavers" ('cuz dreams were, in fact, da only thing dat these two swindlers truly knew how to weave) before they got too far away --- and done so long before the Innocent Little Boy finally "broke the spell" with his "shockingly-impertinent tongue" when he casually blurted out to everyone around him about the Emperor's being in his birthday-suit.
by QuacksO November 21, 2018
Get the LieDARmug. I am both unassuming and appreciative of lower-cost options, and so I prefer just ordinary plain-steel hex-head fasteners for attaching my car's rims, rather than gaudy chrome or decorative shapes --- no need to spring for dat kind of absurd lugxury!
by QuacksO January 8, 2024
Get the lugxurymug. 8-track tapes were invented by da great car-radio designer, so perhaps in homage to his genius, we could use da term "Learics" to refer to all of da words on any of said endless-loop cartridges dat contain singing.
by QuacksO January 8, 2025
Get the Learicsmug. How someone of "conservative mind and superior morals" disapprovingly describes an excessively-butt-baring outfit that a young lady wants to wear to a social gathering of some kind, such as a dance, party, or school prom.
A lot of times when a middle-aged-or-older matron or neighborhood gramma cluckingly criticizes a teenage girl's somewhat-revealing gown as "just assking for trouble", one should seriously wonder if her real reason for objecting is that she is simply jealous that **she herself** no longer possesses a cute firm behind --- or maybe NEVER DID to begin with --- and therefore she is no longer "getting any" from the available hot hunks around town, and so she cannot stand to see a shapely younger filly gaily showing off her "merchandise" for all da raging-hormone-steeped youngblood-studs at da gathering to lust over.
by QuacksO October 26, 2018
Get the just assking for troublemug. Where you disrobe to allow your employer to see and/or sample The Merchandise as a bribe/exchange for his allowing you to continue working for him, even if your past/present job-performance totally sux otherwise.
Though inherently less competent/efficient than her plain-Jane co-worker Miss Blips, the drop-dead-gorgeous Miss Buxley always tries her best to do a good job so that her male-chauvinist "dirty old man" boss, General Amos T. Halftrack, will let her keep her job as a secretary at Camp Swampy, and thus she will not be obliged to debase herself by asking him for a renude contract, much as he would love to have her do so.
by QuacksO October 10, 2017
Get the renude contractmug. What a casually-observing neighbor will amusedly ask you if da dog dat you're taking for a stroll is enthusiastically pulling you along.
I often run into da classic "WHO'S walking WHOM???" scenareo when helping out my neighbors by leading their eager-to-be-out-and-about dogs around town on a leash, so I always opt for a harness instead of a collar, so dat I don't risk having said forward-tugging canines feel choked and breathless.
by QuacksO October 31, 2023
Get the WHO'S walking WHOM???mug. The real reason that he defected to the British side --- tubby prune-faced ol' "Key-and-lightning" Franklin had been overly friendly with him (and of course we know for sure that he didn't used petroleum jelly, either, since said lubricant wasn't even discovered until 1859!), and back then sexual-harassment lawsuits were virtually unheard of.
We all know that Mr. Franklin was a strong supporter of gay-friendly society, but after the Bennydicked Arnold affair, one has to seriously wonder if the enigmatic "Fart Proudly" essay-writer's orientation was itself at least partially "on the fence".
by QuacksO August 3, 2019
Get the Bennydicked Arnoldmug.