1020 definitions by QuacksO

36
What sometimes occurs after your first "hot 'n' heavy" session with a new chick ; it's where da gal quietly swings her legs over da side of your bed and then sits there glumly brooding about whether she wants to stay and engage in further lovemaking with you. What you'll want to do to maximize your chances of keeping da gal interested in you, therefore, is to speedily remind her of what a nice warm-hearted cuddly guy you are, and dat she'll receive "lots more delightful huggy-stuff" if she'll just stick around... as soon as you are awake enough to realize dat she is sitting there, you should immediately scooch yourself up against her back, gently wrap yer feet around her waist in an affectionate leg-hug, reach around in front of her and lovingly palm-cup her boobs, and tenderly rest your head against her shoulder and cheek while cooing softly, so dat she no longer feels ignored or neglected. (Note --- shoulder-scrunchies are an especially welcome and highly-effective soul-pleaser here, as well.) Then if she seems okay wif all dat, softly lay her back down onto da bed, neatly arrange da pillows under her head and swing her feet and legs back under do covers (extra points if you perform da bower-bird bed-buddy routine here, too, so dat da cutie feels "uniformly" warm and comfy), then put yer arms around her and snuggle/spoon her till her shivering and sadness are dispelled, after which you can probably have sex wif her again and then doze off in each other's arms once more.
All of da above advice is excellent for making a nice gal wanna stay and canoodle wif you, but sharing a relaxing warm shower wif her works wonders, as well... if da cutie is having any post-coital melancholy doubts about whether she wants to be your snuggle-bunny, just treat her to a nice long soothing steamy sudsy shower (remember to soap/scrub her back and massage her shoulder-blades without her having to request it), and you'll likely have her head-swimmingly back in love wif you in no time flat!
by QuacksO April 21, 2019
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37
Refers to da "scrunched-eyelids and bared-teeth" expression of shocked remorse dat you assume after you walk through da door into a fairly-quiet room where others are present, and then accidentally cause/allow said door to close more forcefully/noisily than necessary. Extra points if you also "stop dead in your tracks" when exhibiting said agonized facial-contortions, since it shows da nearby startled fellow-humans dat you are indeed caringly-regretful enough for having caused said thunderous thud dat you are willing to totally "halt operations" for a moment to show everyone in no uncertain terms dat said loud noice was defintiely "not on your flight-plan".
Displaying da post-door-slamming wince might be less expected of you during da winter months (especially if da noise you made was only mildly-to-moderately excessive), since presumably most folks would actually **prefer** dat you close a door more quickly/firmly than usual on colder days; people always appreciate your doing a "quick slither-though and yank da door shut behind you" maneuver when entering a room from da chilly outdoors, in order to conserve hard-won heat dat said room's present occupants have had to gradually create over da past hours by either keeping a blazing/roaring fire going or burning lots of costly heating-oil.
by QuacksO December 24, 2019
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38
Da freaked-out and exhausted emotions dat you experience after "heavy-duty" social interactions invoking minor/petty/non-existent issues dat one or more self-important and/or fame-seeking fellow humans have blown way outta proportion. Think, da red-faced and utterly-drained feeling you'd feel in grade school when da teacher would "make a Federal case" outta some extremely minor error or dispute/misunderstanding between you and one of her bratty/conceited classroom "pets".
I never bother reading "Dear Abby" anymore; too many of the letters are just preposterously-immature social-tiffs about stupidly-asinine interpersonal issues --- disgustedly wading through all of that usually gives me a major case of post dramatic stress disorder afterwards!
by QuacksO November 17, 2019
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39
Da feeling of "empty letdown after having toiled for nothing" dat you experience as an adult after you'd studied your a** off in grade school about certain strongly-hyped-and-pushed-for-their-supposedly-great-importance subjects (history, science, botany, biology, etc.) other than da "three R's", only to find dat in reality you seldom if ever need any of dat knowledge in your everyday working/home life, and dat others merely stare at you like you're some kinda brainiac nerd when ya mention anything from your vast knowledge of said subjects dat they had long forgotten about or not even bothered to really learn very well themselves in their own school years.
My third-grade teacher always really drove us to learn about da history of San Francisco, yet never once in the ensuing decades have I **ever** hadda use my knowledge of who William Leidesdorff or Amadeo Giannini was --- talk about post-graduation disillusionment!
by QuacksO March 18, 2019
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40
A tasty sliceable baked good made from finely-crumbled Honey Bunches of Oats, Grape Nuts, and/or Raisin Bran, rather than corn-meal.
Having to "Post-pone breakfast" is a lot less disappointing when it merely means delightedly munching a hot buttered slice or two of that special yummy crunchy toasted-flour creation.
by QuacksO November 10, 2018
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41
Refers to da hearty/relieved palms-slap dat two laborers exchange when a device actually operates properly again after they've been feverishly/trepidatiously working to repair it.
My buddy and I had thoroughly cleaned the battery-terminals on my car, topped off the water in the battery's cells and wire-brushed its posts, and then carefully re-connected everything again; we totally gave each other a post-repair high-five afterwards when the engine whirled right over.
by QuacksO March 07, 2019
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42
The only truly enjoyable part of the whole church-attendance experience (well, besides the ice cream Sunday, perhaps); that's why everyone's smiling as they exit the church --- they didn't actually enjoy being cooped up in a sweltering stuffy musty chapel for two long boring hours; they're just so relieved that it's finally over and they can go outside again.
I hear people happily praising the preacher on what a great service it was as they file out of the church,. but for most of them, it's just post-sermon relief --- the only thing they're actually happy about is that the service didn't last longer than it did!!
by QuacksO August 05, 2018
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