Skip to main content
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

wetness to laughter ratio 

A ratio relating to the volume of urine excreted concurrent with laughter which may be used as a fairly reliable estimate of how funny something is.
Pissing myself the whole time and unable to stop, I cleverly cited the prank’s wetness to laughter ratio as an excuse.

intellectual wetness

The concept of physical pleasure from an intellectual interaction about a deep and stimulating topic or theory.
When I discuss Karl Marx with my girlfriend, I get a feeling of intellectual wetness.
intellectual wetness by Ian P14 March 4, 2009

Wetnessday 

Another fun word for Wednesday. Horny on a Wednesday.
I'm going to have so much fun with my vibrator on wetnessday
Wetnessday by EmoUnicorn99 June 1, 2018

dick wetness

The penis becomes moist and oversaturated due to stimulation
Ayo................ DICK WETNESS!
dick wetness by plugDrew October 3, 2019
Disambiguation: owning her wetness

When a man is trying to impress strangers on the internet because his wife doesn’t give him the validation he desperately seeks, he often resorts to telling women (especially on twitter) that he owns their wetness (plural) or owns her wetness (singular).

Owning her wetness is actually impossible. Nobody can own her wetness. Her wetness is not ownable. Only sad, lonely, married men ever unironically say that they own anyone’s wetness.

This condition dates back to 2018 and there is currently no known cure. Research into the early warning signs of saying dumb things like, “I own her wetness,” is ongoing.
Owning (her) wetness on the internet saved my marriage.

A gentleman always holds the door to let a lady go first THEN offers to own her wetness.

Own her wetness by blocking her then stalk all her tweets from your alt.

Woman on twitter:
Man on twitter: I own your wetness
Woman on twitter: ew, fuck off, dumbass

One small step for man, one giant leap for owning her wetness.

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Her Wetness.

Star Wars Episode V: Her Wetness Strikes Back.

Him: I want to own your wetness.
His wife: You do, honey.
Him: Not you.
Wetness by Mrs. Steve Buscemi October 30, 2019

own her wetness

When a man is trying to impress strangers on the internet because his wife doesn’t give him the validation he desperately seeks, he often resorts to telling women (especially on twitter) that he owns their wetness (plural) or owns her wetness (singular).

Owning her wetness is actually impossible. Nobody can own her wetness. Her wetness is not ownable. Only sad, lonely, married men ever unironically say that they own anyone’s wetness.

This condition dates back to 2018 and there is currently no known cure. Research into the early warning signs of saying dumb things like, “I own her wetness,” is ongoing.
Owning (her) wetness on the internet saved my marriage.

A gentleman always holds the door to let a lady go first THEN offers to own her wetness.

Own her wetness by blocking her then stalk all her tweets from your alt.

Woman on twitter:

Man on twitter: I own your wetness

Woman on twitter: ew, fuck off, dumbass

One small step for man, one giant leap for owning her wetness.

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Her Wetness.

Star Wars Episode V: Her Wetness Strikes Back.

Him: I want to own your wetness.

His wife: You do, honey.

Him: Not you.
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Load more