Skip to main content
Disambiguation: owning her wetness

When a man is trying to impress strangers on the internet because his wife doesn’t give him the validation he desperately seeks, he often resorts to telling women (especially on twitter) that he owns their wetness (plural) or owns her wetness (singular).

Owning her wetness is actually impossible. Nobody can own her wetness. Her wetness is not ownable. Only sad, lonely, married men ever unironically say that they own anyone’s wetness.

This condition dates back to 2018 and there is currently no known cure. Research into the early warning signs of saying dumb things like, “I own her wetness,” is ongoing.
Owning (her) wetness on the internet saved my marriage.

A gentleman always holds the door to let a lady go first THEN offers to own her wetness.

Own her wetness by blocking her then stalk all her tweets from your alt.

Woman on twitter:
Man on twitter: I own your wetness
Woman on twitter: ew, fuck off, dumbass

One small step for man, one giant leap for owning her wetness.

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Her Wetness.

Star Wars Episode V: Her Wetness Strikes Back.

Him: I want to own your wetness.
His wife: You do, honey.
Him: Not you.
Wetness by Mrs. Steve Buscemi October 30, 2019
Wetness mug front
Get the Wetness mug.
See more merch
Referring to wet in basketball where instead of just one shot is wet the whole game is wet where everyones knocking shots down.
Basketball season is coming up, you better get ready for wetness.
Wetness by DeacWetness2011 November 16, 2011
wetness- a college junior who gets excessively excited with drunken males on weekends/some weekdays. A common encounter with the "wetness" results in a hungover question to yourself, "did i piss the bed?" However, you tend to turn to your right or left and are face to face with the WETNESS.
I brought home wetness last night and took off my sheets prior to getting tough. Tough as shit.
wetness by dryness December 7, 2010
"I can't get enough of that wetness."
wetness by bergulations April 1, 2009
Another name for a female's vagina or pussy.
Man, that sex was whacked--when my length entered her wetness--wooee!
wetness by Sean May 8, 2004
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

-Derek Zoolander
Definition of Wetness for Kids who can't read good.
Wetness by anonymous October 21, 2020

wetness to laughter ratio 

A ratio relating to the volume of urine excreted concurrent with laughter which may be used as a fairly reliable estimate of how funny something is.
Pissing myself the whole time and unable to stop, I cleverly cited the prank’s wetness to laughter ratio as an excuse.