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NOT A TURTLE OR TORTOISE, basically Tortus is Tortus.
Don't question it, Tortus is Tortus
tortus by NotTortus August 14, 2019
Words you can keep

dirty tortus 

when you take a shit and you are constipated - it comes out slow but leaves a lot of shit behind to wipe.
I thought id never get off the toilet. I finally let out a dirty tortus and had such a dirty ass i used all the toilet paper.
Related Words

Torture Ball 

I really didn’t want to go out until night.I can’t stand the Torture Ball.

Torture Dance 

The single-handed best dance in the history of za warudo

(Comes from Jojo's Bizzare Adventure)
Narancia: Now that we caught the enemy lets do the torture dance!
Mista and Fugo: YEAH
*PROCEEDS TO DO DANCE*
Zucchero: God please save me
Torture Dance by Sumoman435 October 6, 2019

Cock and Ball Torture 

Cock and ball torture (CBT), penis torture or dick torture is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
My doctor performed cock and ball torture on me to test my genital resilience.

Cock and Ball Torture 

Cock and Ball Torture, AKA CBT, is a act of someone punishing their cock and balls by hitting it, beating it, and in general punishing it.
Carl - Miss Frizz, can I please start my cock and ball torture routine?
Miss Frizz - Sorry Carl, I don't allow cock and ball torture in my classroom.
Carl - Oh geez Miss Frizz.. I don't think I can wait until lunch time
Miss Frizz - Well, you're going to have to Carl. Now be quiet and pay attention.
Carl - Fuck you Miss Frizz i'm going to start anyways. *Carl starts his Cock and Ball Torture despite what Miss Frizz says.* Carl then brutally starts to slam his pencil box onto his nutsack making his balls turn purple and blue.

Squidward torture porn

Any episode of SpongeBob SquarePants in which the character, Squidward Tentacles, is unfairly injured/stripped of any dreams or hopes for that episode for the sole purpose of him being Squidward and being the "bad guy" when in reality, he's the character we sympathize with. Also noted by an abnormally large IQ drop in SpongeBob or Patrick just for those episodes as well.
Fan 1: Did you see that new SpongeBob episode?
Fan 2: Yeah, it was a total Squidward torture porn.
Fan 1: I know, I felt so bad for Squidward!
More from Urban Dictionary

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
West Midlands slang word for rockers, bikers, greasers etc. In the late 1980s it was used by the UK music press to refer to a specific scene centered around the bands Pop Will Eat Itself and Crazyhead. The term never found favour with readers of 'the inkies' (Sounds, Melody Maker and the still extant NME) and was soon dropped. Now often used in predominantly working-class areas of the midlands and the north to mean someone who listens to rock-derived music and/or dresses in a manner that suggests they affiliate themselves with rock music of some kind.
Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!
grebo by cactuscat September 15, 2006
Word of the Day on August 24, 2026

TikTok Farlands

TikTok Farlands is a term to refer to videos that you see after scrolling for a long time. These videos can potentially be disturbing, or weird. Said videos can also have low likes, or low comments.
“I reached the TikTok Farlands bro
Word of the Day on August 23, 2026
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