Skip to main content

The Ancient Web 

The earliest sites and chunks of data that made up the first foundations of the world wide web. Data that has been lost to the depths of the internet and no longer retrievable.

In contemporary terms The Ancient Web is made up of the lost history of the internet sometimes view able on thewaybackmachine or other archives that exists in time before the fall of geocites.

The term will perpetually be changing to consume greater swaths of the history of the internet until clearly defined eras are identified.
"I remember a story from years ago, but it is lost to the ancient web."
The Ancient Web by Viroodiem October 29, 2018

ream of the ancient mariner

This requires the use of a dead albatross and a dirty old sailor. While engaged in doggystyle intercourse, tie the dead albatross around her neck, and while she is struggling to remove the filthy animal, quickly switch places with a dirty old sailor, who will give her a good jabbin' and the surprise of her life. Can be combined with the Rodeo. Perfect for breakup scenarios.
I wanted to end it with Jill, so I contracted a dirty old sailor, caught an albatross at the pier, and ended our relationship with a ream of the ancient mariner.

The Ancient Ones

The Ancient Rulers of the Darkness, in a time before Time, when no Light existed. They who were slain by The Elder Gods, namely Marduk, begotten son of The Father Enki; Marduk who is Lord of Lords and Magician of Magicians, First Born and Ruler of The Elder Gods, Fashioner of The Magic Name, The Magic Word, The Magic Number and The Magic Shape and were cast into the eternal Abyss, The Netherworld, called Hades and Absu.

From the blood of Kingu, Ruler of The Ancient Ones, was the race of Man created and from the fluids of the vile Serpent Tiamat were the Heavens, the Stars and the Earth created.

The Ancient Ones keep constant watch over The Gates of Absu, forever seeking enterance into Our World, so that They may rule the Earth.

Wicked are those magicians that are skilled that they may rouse The Ancient Ones and rouse The Serpent of The Deep Waters, known as Cthulhu, and grant them access into Our World.

Grant thyself power by The Names of Elder Gods by reading and following to the letter the formulae contained within the pages of The Necronomicon, known as The Book of The Black Earth and The Book of the Dead, brought to us from the teachings and scripts of Abdul Alhazarad, known by many as The Mad Arab, paying particular attention to those written down within the pages of The Maklu Text and The Book of The Calling.
The Elder Gods did War in Heaven with The Ancient Ones, so as to create Light out of Supreme Darkness and the Heavens and The Earth and all that dwell therein.
The Ancient Ones by E April 6, 2005

TEENANCIENT 

An older woman who dresses like a teenager
Look at Bridget...she'e 50 if she's a day....all dressed up in her boob tube and a pussy-pelmet.

Jeez, what a teenancient!
TEENANCIENT by Derderder August 19, 2012

the ancient ninja art of deep conditioning 

Uchiha Sasuke's way to keep his hair lookin' sexy. Naruto's way of making his hair weird and yellow
"i will use the ancient ninja art of deep conditioning to make my hair like sasuke-kun!"

Raise the Ancient Golden Cage 

The feeling that a proposed relationship with the opposite sex is only going to lead to trouble in all 8 directions. Comes from a Russian proverb about setting free a beloved bird.
Raise the Ancient Golden Cage, Jerry, that woman is not who you think she is.