86 definitions by E

The goddamn coolest, down ass bitch in town, bebe.
Eisley and Salad like to mingle with the natives.
by E March 31, 2005
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The Elder Gods are an Ancient Stellar Race of Beings that dwelt in supreme darkness in a time long since forgotten, a time before there was ever Light. The Ancient Ones were the rulers of this darkness. Then came such a time that The Elder Gods stood up against the evil Ancient Ones and thus a Great and Terrific War was fought in the Heavens.

The Great God Marduk, Begotten of Our Master Enki, Ruler of the Seas; Marduk, who is Lord of Lords and Master of Magicians, Fashioner of The Magic Name, The Magic Shape, The Magic Number and The Magic Word, was given Fifty Weapons and Fifty Powers with which to fight The Ancient Ones. These Powers are the remaining, unmentioned Names of The Elder Gods.

During The Great War, the awful God Tiamat, The Writhing Serpent, was slain by Marduk and thrown down into Absu, The Abyss, there to be forever kept, save when a magician of the blackest of arts is skillful enough to rouse The Ancient Ones and The Serpent of the Deep, Cthulhu, and open The Gates to The Outside and allow Them that dwell Therein entry into Our World.

And from the fluids of Tiamat were The Heavens and The Earth created as well as The Stars.

Also slain was Kingu, Ruler of The Ancient Ones, and from His body He did bleed and from His blood did The Elder Gods create the race of Man.
"Stoop not down, therefore,
Unto the Darkly-Splendid World,
Wherein continually lieth a faithless Depth
And Hades wrapped in clouds,
Delighting in unintelligable images,
Precepitous, winding
A black, ever-rolling Abyss
Ever espousing a Body unluminous
and Void"- The Chaldean Oracles of Zoroaster
by E April 7, 2005
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The act of putting your balls in and out of a persons mouth.
Well if ya didnt sleep with your mouth open I wouldnt have tea bagged ya dude
by E March 16, 2003
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The Ancient Rulers of the Darkness, in a time before Time, when no Light existed. They who were slain by The Elder Gods, namely Marduk, begotten son of The Father Enki; Marduk who is Lord of Lords and Magician of Magicians, First Born and Ruler of The Elder Gods, Fashioner of The Magic Name, The Magic Word, The Magic Number and The Magic Shape and were cast into the eternal Abyss, The Netherworld, called Hades and Absu.

From the blood of Kingu, Ruler of The Ancient Ones, was the race of Man created and from the fluids of the vile Serpent Tiamat were the Heavens, the Stars and the Earth created.

The Ancient Ones keep constant watch over The Gates of Absu, forever seeking enterance into Our World, so that They may rule the Earth.

Wicked are those magicians that are skilled that they may rouse The Ancient Ones and rouse The Serpent of The Deep Waters, known as Cthulhu, and grant them access into Our World.

Grant thyself power by The Names of Elder Gods by reading and following to the letter the formulae contained within the pages of The Necronomicon, known as The Book of The Black Earth and The Book of the Dead, brought to us from the teachings and scripts of Abdul Alhazarad, known by many as The Mad Arab, paying particular attention to those written down within the pages of The Maklu Text and The Book of The Calling.
The Elder Gods did War in Heaven with The Ancient Ones, so as to create Light out of Supreme Darkness and the Heavens and The Earth and all that dwell therein.
by E April 7, 2005
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A word that was completely made up by Yoyle HQ in #change-a-letter, a weird combination between "Snowball" and "Tennis Ball"
"Wanna play snow tennis?"
"Yeah! Do you know where the sbenisballs are?"
by E April 17, 2022
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A comedy website that was funny about 6 years ago. Has grown into a sprawling mess of arrogance, petulence and tired pseudo-irony. Still has the occasional gem but more often than not misses the mark with its rambling 'comedy' diatribes and just plain depressing forums.
Inclusion of angsty teenager David Thorpe just demonstrates how low the website has sunk.
Something Awful is no longer funny.
by E February 8, 2005
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