Totally Not Gay Dude 1) "How have you been making due while your computer is in the shop, Eric?"

Totally Not Gay Dude 2) "It's been great! I did some tabsturbation on my way to work."

Mom) "What were you doing in the bathroom for an hour?"

Son) "Tabsturbating, it was quiet in there and it actually has a lock. DON'T JUDGE ME!"

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz