surprise log
When your entire body is telling you that explosive diarrhea is at critical stages, but you get a normal poop instead.
surprise log by CactusOfDoom August 5, 2023
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Chinese Log Smash Surprise
When one finally drops a quality hot and steamy log that hangs from ass to toilet water after extreme constipation and does not realize that it has not detached from the anal cavity, causing him/her to proceed with the wiping process, and violently "smash" through the log. It is called a "surprise" because the victim usually responds with "HOLY SHIT!" or "MY BUNG HOLE!" or "DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!"
1. "I was walking past the bathroom while my brother was taking a shit and I heard the beginning poot but did not here the ending splash that usually follows. I realized what was happening and immediately yelled 'DICK, WAIT!....but it was too late..he had experienced his first Chinese Log Smash Surprise."
2. "After 3 weeks of being constipated I had taken my glory dump, not knowing that the magnificent log had not detached. As I went to wipe (from front to back) I had my 5th Chinese Log Smash Surprise this month!"
3. "After his Chinese Log Smash Surprise, Jim's hand never recovered..."
2. "After 3 weeks of being constipated I had taken my glory dump, not knowing that the magnificent log had not detached. As I went to wipe (from front to back) I had my 5th Chinese Log Smash Surprise this month!"
3. "After his Chinese Log Smash Surprise, Jim's hand never recovered..."
Chinese Log Smash Surprise by Dr. Wack Meehoff October 14, 2011
Related Words
chud run
A trip to a grocery store, convenience store, or gas station for the sole purpose of buying an excessive amount of junk food and sugary drinks, usually with friends. A chud run often happens late at night and ends with everyone involved hating themselves afterwards.
chud run by chad brandson July 24, 2026
Word of the Day on July 28, 2026
flophouse
Any house/apartment/frat house/trailer/etc. which is used for individuals to crash (sleep, chill, hang out, lurk, etc.) for a period of time. In order to "crash", one must not actually live there (e.g. have their name on the lease, own said flophouse, etc.). Flophouses are typically used by college students, drug addicts, transients, vagrants, or other unsavory characters.
A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.
A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.
Example #1
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??
Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.
Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!
Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??
Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.
Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!
Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!
Hate Sink
A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.
Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016
Word of the Day on July 26, 2026