Shitsturbate

To masturbate oneself while taking a shit. Simultaneous masturbation and defecation. The ultimate dual release.

After years of marriage, Carl's wife finally figured out her husband takes an excessively long time in the bathroom because he loves to Shitsturbate.

by Eaton Holgoode April 28, 2016

Shitsturbation

A simultaneous performance of shitting and masturbating, often done in public restrooms.

Kayla: Wow, I heard some really weird noises when I was using the restroom. Sounded like someone was really enjoying their dump...
Michael: They were probably undergoing Shitsturbation. It's like a self-performed blumpkin with your hands.

by gofgirl983 December 17, 2011

shitsturber

A person who loves to cause drama just because they love the chaos and doesn't care about how it effects other people involved.

Ugh, don't tell her about me sleeping with him. She's such a shitsturber.

by _Ellia_ April 14, 2011

Shitsturbate

The act of reaching your hand into your rectum and covering it with shit. Then using the shit covered hand to masturbate. The shit will act as a lubricant

Joe: I cummed to the roof whe I finally decided to Shitsturbate!

Paul: I told you!

Joe: Yeah, poop is good lube.

by Topazoo November 29, 2009

Shitsturbating

When you're jerking off on the toilet before a shower but flush it before you get in the shower so your family thinks you were shitting

Yesterday I was shitsturbating but I forgot to flush... Now my family totally knows I was wacking it.

by Shitsturbator69 December 10, 2018

shitsturbed

When you are disturbed so much it's going to make you shut you're pants

Dan said he was uncomfortable but only till the pants went from light to dark did I realize he was shitsturbed

by Freezing fucks March 6, 2017