To masturbate oneself while taking a shit. Simultaneous masturbation and defecation. The ultimate dual release.
After years of marriage, Carl's wife finally figured out her husband takes an excessively long time in the bathroom because he loves to Shitsturbate.
by Eaton Holgoode January 18, 2016
Kayla: Wow, I heard some really weird noises when I was using the restroom. Sounded like someone was really enjoying their dump...
Michael: They were probably undergoing Shitsturbation. It's like a self-performed blumpkin with your hands.
Michael: They were probably undergoing Shitsturbation. It's like a self-performed blumpkin with your hands.
by gofgirl983 December 11, 2011
A person who loves to cause drama just because they love the chaos and doesn't care about how it effects other people involved.
by _Ellia_ March 29, 2011
The act of reaching your hand into your rectum and covering it with shit. Then using the shit covered hand to masturbate. The shit will act as a lubricant
Joe: I cummed to the roof whe I finally decided to Shitsturbate!
Paul: I told you!
Joe: Yeah, poop is good lube.
Paul: I told you!
Joe: Yeah, poop is good lube.
by Topazoo November 29, 2009
When you're jerking off on the toilet before a shower but flush it before you get in the shower so your family thinks you were shitting
Yesterday I was shitsturbating but I forgot to flush... Now my family totally knows I was wacking it.
by Shitsturbator69 December 11, 2018
Dan said he was uncomfortable but only till the pants went from light to dark did I realize he was shitsturbed
by Freezing fucks March 06, 2017