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It's only gay if your balls touch 

Some heterosexual men, in a two-male-one-female threesome, will avoid the sexual position "DP sandwich" because there is a good chance that one guy's dangling and swinging balls will rub against the the other guy's balls, creating gay pleasure and thus making the sex gay. The woman, to help the guys overcome their gay fears so that she can get what she wants, will encourage them by saying that the sex would only be gay if their balls touched.
Woman: C'mon guys, give it to me! At the same time! I'm so horny.
Man 1: No way, that's totally gay.
Man 2: Yeah, that's gay.
Woman: What is this, the Rocky & Bullwinkle show?! C'mon guys, think about it, it's only gay if your balls touch.
Man 1: (To Woman:) OK, maybe you're right. (To Man 2:) But I'm going to be on top because I don't trust you and your low-hanging balls.
Man 2: Sure, man, whatever.

It's only gay if the balls touch 

The only way to stop anyone from calling you gay without ending them with a single blow
Frank: you have the gay cuz u sex with man

Joe: it's only gay if the balls touch
Frank: uhh *the think* I guess u alright for now

*two people walk out of that conversation alive instead of one*

It‘s only smellz 

When the shit on your dick is not actually shit, but only smellz, therefore safe to put in someones mouth.

Popularized by a porno with heavy eastern european linguistic influence.
It‘s only smellz it‘s nothing... it‘s only the smell
It‘s only smellz by Adrinsn July 17, 2019

it's only queer if you're tied to the pier 

Derivation: U.S. Navy slang. An entreaty used by a desperately horny male sailor to get another male sailor to engage in clandestine sexual activity for the purpose of mutual release. Based on the theory that when two guys on a ship with no access to females have sex, they are not gay, but just helping out a shipmate.
HT2 Betz: "Dude, if you jack me off, I'll jack you off."
AO2 Griffin: "No, way, man! That's gay!"
HT2 Betz: "We've been at sea for three months, and we won't see Pearl for another three. I'm just saying help a shipmate out. After all, it's only queer if you're tied to the pier."
AO2 Griffin: "Yeah, I guess you're right. We could go to the chain locker..."

It's only gay if your balls touch 

A reasurance used toward to guys who are about to, or who you wish were about to, engage in homosexual activity. With just eachother, or with you as well.

It's not true, of course, as simply doing something with someone else can't change who you're attracted to, but with dudes being so afraid to be gay, it's worth a try.

It's also just funny.
Shane: "No way"

Kyle: "Y..yeah"

Figure.10: "Aw.....but remember, it's only gay if your balls touch!"

It's only smellz 

When you fuck someone in the ass and pull out, and your Johnson is greased in shit, and you tell her to suck it - but she says no, then you say, "It's only smellz" and put the Johnson in the mouth.
CmonBaby... It's only smellz
It's only smellz by JohnMadsen424 February 23, 2018
More from Urban Dictionary

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
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