When a guy who always denied ever jacking off first proclaims to their friends that they indeed do masterbate. Usually admitted after days, months and years of questioning and teasing.

Krieg- "You missed it last night. Brett finally caved."

Chase- "How's that?"

Krieg- "Masterbation Proclamation"

Chase- "I always knew he was a jackoff"

Masterbation Proclamation by woundtight September 25, 2011

Get merch

Masturbation Proclamation

Law of the land giving any person the ability to claim any object on which they masturbates onto as long as that is not already claimed.

"I now own this due to the essential rights given to me by the Masturbation Proclamation"

Masturbation Proclamation by Christmas cruises October 5, 2017

Get merch

urination proclamation

a statement someone makes or "proclaims" when he/she needs to go to the bathroom, like the emancipation proclamation, except for peeing

"Yo, I gotta use your bathroom, I'm about to make a urination proclamation, I've been holding it in for like 3 hours!"

urination proclamation by S McS June 17, 2007

Get merch

inebriation proclamation

The statement of declaration that you are, from this point forward, no longer responsible for anything you say or do since you are hereby wasted.

"After that fourth shot of Jager, I believe it's time to make my Inebriation Proclamation"

inebriation proclamation by Aubrey Sabala October 27, 2006

Get merch

Shuffle