presturbation 

Presturbation is the act of watching porn to get you horny enough to watch the really awful porn you need to get off because you're dead inside.

The term originates from Michael Swaim of Cracked.com

Guy 1: My girlfriend walked in on me watching porn the other day. Luckily I was just presturbating so it wasn't anything too nasty. A few minutes later and she would have seen my collection of loli midget amputee vore hentai. Presturbation saved my relationship.

Guy 2: You're dead inside, aren't you?

Guy 1: Oh, most definitely.

presturbation by That name is already taken September 2, 2011

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

Pabsturbation 

The act of delivering untold pleasures to one's self through the art of cracking a Pabst.

Pabsturbation can be performed alone or in groups.

Pabsturbation by Dave the King of Rock July 4, 2010

Perturbation 

A deviation in the state or complex motion of a system, moving object or massive body - caused by outside influences or third parties.

It slipped into the wrong hole and she was not at all perturbed by this perturbation.

Perturbation by Perturbation September 27, 2018

pensturbation 

an obsession with pens, particularly fountain pens , with obligatory demonstration of your pens,

and writing nonsense on the piece of paper, to show off pen performance.

A phenomenon is similar to other hobbies, like equipment measurbator, in photo communities , or guitar masturbation among musicians

I committed another act of pensturbation, after spending half of my monthly income to 5 new expensive pens

pensturbation by dildo777 February 22, 2023

presexturbation 

Masturbating before going on a date so as to be able to last longer when having sex with your date later in the evening.

My girlfriend is super-hot, so I always jack off before we go out. Presexturbation lets me last longer with her later on.

presexturbation by Dr. Robstew November 16, 2012

Pissturbation 

To be masturbating, and then have to piss while doing so.

Nintenjoe was so drunk after the 3 beers he drank, that he pissturbated.

Pissturbation by ICB4LIFE January 25, 2005