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premature eclackulation 

When someone jumps the gun during an attempt to synchronize cracking open cans of soda or beer... therefore ruining the massive head-turning "clack" sound you were all hoping to create.
question: "Dude! what happened there? We were going to crack-open on the count of 3"

response: "Sorry man... I've been having trouble with premature eclackulation lately"

Premature Equackulation 

The phrase refers to the tendency of the 2010 Oregon Duck football team to frequently score quickly without any regard to the feelings of its opponent. Football being a zero-sum game, the Ducks understand that it is important to get theirs early and often. Opponents are left unsatisfied and usually perplexed as the Ducks pretend like nothing is out of the ordinary and seem ready to score again in an alarmingly short amount of time. The largest proponents of this offense are alumni of the University of Oregon, Phil Knight and young men venturing into the world of mature women for the first time.
The USC Trojans were surprised at the severity of the Duck's case of premature equackulation.

Premature Esnackulation 

When you buy a large amount of snack food as a stash, then proceed to eat it all at once.
I try not to buy much junk food when I do groceries, my boyfriend suffers from premature esnackulation.

premature erockulation 

The condition created when a local band's self perceived popularity exceeds it's actual popularity.
Did you see the band at the bar last night? Their lead singer really has premature erockulation. Who the hell were they anyway?

Premature Epackulation 

Packing the car before you realize there are many more items that you need to take.
I suffered from severe premature epackulation this trip when I thought I’d be able to see out the back window on our vacation for the first time in years. My dreams were crushed when I saw my wife wheeling out 3 large suitcases and I had to unpack the entire car and start my car Tetris game over.

Premature Equackulation 

This what Duck fans do every year before the season actually starts.
"we are so awesome and we will be playing for the NC in the title game" only to have it fall down around thier ankles at the end. They are suffering from Premature Equackulation