pokesturbate 

The act of starting a poke war oneself on facebook repeatedly for pleasure. Technically impossible to lose or win, which leads to a paradox and an eventual rip on the space-time continuum, destroying the universe as we know it.

"My roommate caught me pokesturbating when he came home from class early"

"I feel like a naughty boy because I pokesturbate in the library"

pokesturbate by ZapRowsdower December 28, 2007

poopsturbate

The act of manually achieving orgasm shortly after a successful bowel movement.

I always poopsturbate once a day, usually after my classes.

poopsturbate by Chuck Wagon January 5, 2009

poopsturbate

Killing two birds with one stone

Gary: Holy shit, grandpa's funeral is in a half hour and I still need to jerk off and take a shit!
Paul: Poopsturbate! It's really your only hope

poopsturbate by papa moyer February 28, 2011

posturbate 

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.

Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.

posturbate by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007

pikesturbate 

The act of pleasuring an unattractive woman/man. Somebody you did not wish to wake up next to.

Oh my gosh i wish i did'nt pikesturbate her/him!

pikesturbate by damon rosco November 14, 2009

pikesturbate 

The act of haveing sexual intercourse with a gypsy man/women.

'that pikey is s hot. i just have to pikesturbate the bitch, lets hope she doesnt steal the cat'

pikesturbate by shortys bitch December 12, 2009

popesterbate

The act of poopsterbating in a church's or holy place's bathroom.

I ducked out of mass for a quick popesterbate this afternoon... I left quite the offering.

popesterbate by furtivespy February 23, 2014