New Mom 

Once your girlfriend is allowed to tell you what to do, where to go, how to dress, and how to think so replaces your birth mother as your 'new mom'. If She doesn't trick you into marriage she will eventually become your Old Mom.

Person #1: You down to get down?
Person #2: No, New Mom wants me to shop Bath and Body works with Her...

New Mom by Eric January 2, 2004

New Mom Syndrome 

After having a child:

One stares at people to see if they're watching said child.

The act of telling people to look at said child for every little thing they do.

Being annoyingly proud of said child for things that aren't really worthy of being proud of.

Saying "say hey aunt Charlee!" everytime a person walks into the room; expecting the person(s) to talk to said child every time they walk by said child.

Ex. 1- "Look at Brandy! She's slobbering!"

Ex. 2- "Say hey aunt Jenna!!" & being annoyed or sad by no response after the 800th time they have walked by.

Ex. 3- "I'm so proud of Becky! She's 8 months old and is already saying babababababa!"

Ex. 4- Maria told Jenna how annoying Nicole was being when she was trying to watch television:
"I was trying to watch t.v. and Nicole kept staring at me every time her baby moved or screamed... like she expected me to pay attention to everything the kid was doing. Definitely new mom syndrome! Ugh!"

New Mom Syndrome by LeBeautifulDisaster June 20, 2013

new mom boobs 

1. a phrase to describe the enormous natural increase of the breast size of a woman who is either pregnant or nursing.

2. big breasts due to lactation.

Check out Christina Aguilaras new mom boobs!

new mom boobs by boob job, milk, tit job, milf June 28, 2009

insufferable new mom 

When someone has a new kid, pet, etc. and won't shut up about them. Bonus points when it's their first time having a kid/pet/etc. (referred to as 'pet' from now on for clarity)

They tend to highlight every little thing the pet does as amazing/cute/adorable/etc...

Asks you if you also think that it's awesome that it dod something constantly and seems to forget that they asked you the same question mere moments ago.
Also can't sit for 5 minutes without noticing something the pet did or how it's doing.

They'll point out something about the pet and how it's special and that very few other pets have this awesome and desirable trait.

If it wears off in a month, they were probably under the influence of insufferable new mom syndrome.

A: Look at Mr. Whiskers! Isn't he so adorable? (repeat x100)

B: Dude, you're being an insufferable new mom.

A: But look! Isn't he just the cutest!?

insufferable new mom by spmtn March 12, 2022

New Mommy

A woman who, upon being married, takes on the responsibilities of mother for her husband. She will allow him to be slovenly and not have a job, just as long as he remains in the house. If the husband leaves the house, the New Mommy will call repeatedly to check on him and make sure he knows when he's expected home; to the point of where it makes the husband and his friends uncomfortable. If the husband has friends over, she becomes irate and antisocial to the point where the friends are no longer comfortable staying.

Ultimately, she achieves an unhealthy, but very effective control over her "husband."

You think Tim would wanna go grab a beer?

Dunno, he'll have to check with his New Mommy.

New Mommy by Rick the Nature Boy April 17, 2008

New mommy syndrome

When a woman has her first child and is no longer any fun to hang out with. Makes sure to bring up their child in every conversation no matter the topic.

Person 1: Let’s call Kelly and see if she wants to hang out tonight
Person 2: good luck with that ever since she had that baby she’s had a bad case of new mommy syndrome.

New mommy syndrome by Dutch Pirate April 19, 2022

the new bruh moment

weh moment is the new bruh moment.
You must spread the word.

An example of how to use the new bruh moment:

"Karen took the fucking kids"
"Weh moment."

the new bruh moment by vodconfident April 16, 2019