Skip to main content

Todd Van Poppel money 

Phrase used by Brien Taylor, former MLB #1 pick of the New York Yankees, and his family under the advice of agent Scott Boras. The Yankees offered him about $350,000, the usual amount for a #1 pick, but Taylor informed them he would be holding out for "Todd Van Poppel money", in reference to previous year's draftee Todd Van Poppel, who was given $1.2 million to sign with the Oakland Athletics. Taylor was eventually given more than $1.55 million. Humorously, Brien Taylor never ended up in the majors after tearing his labrum in a bar fight, and Van Poppel spent the majority of his career as a mediocre middle reliever.
This phrase pops up frequently around drafts, when high draftees are expected to ask for ridiculous amounts of money rivaling the contracts of many proven veterans and younger stars.
It can also be used in everyday situations when referring to a relatively large amount of money, especially when said money is being offered to convince you to do something heinous.
John: Hey Dan, I'll give you $20 to burn off your nutsack hair.

Dan: Hell no, you'd have to give me Todd Van Poppel money to do that.

Vanilla Monkey 

Vanilla Monkey by Lewis90 December 31, 2021

gopher monkeynana 

Gopher monkeynana; noun, Cool, good looking, or attractive
Damn Man! You looking Gopher monkeynana!
gopher monkeynana by xxSaltyFoodxx January 24, 2018

Monkeypants 

An unusually potent term of endearment which can be employed to trump lesser terms.
"Sweetiebucket, would you go out and buy me a doughnut?"

"Of course, Monkeypants, I'd do anything for you."
Monkeypants by Senorita Jiggypants December 30, 2007

Monkeyvining 

Monkeyvining is a common dating practice employed by lonely, insecure or ineffably sexy people who are too hot to stay on the market after becoming single. Monkeyvining results when said monkeyviner swings to the vine of new relationship, without first letting go of the prior relationship vine. No free-sailing "time to discover myself" - which we all know really means cessation of bathing and bushwhacking - is taken between relationships, which usually means a wealth of emotional baggage and unrealistic expectations awaits proprietor of subsequent vine.

Commonly referred to as "serial monogamy," monkeyvining frequently results from fear of becoming forever relegated to the shadowy and dismal doom of repeatedly watching 28 dresses with your 28 cats.
Sheila has yet another man! She has been monkeyvining from boyfriend to boyfriend for at least six years now...
Monkeyvining by Dr. Evil 518 December 29, 2010

monkeyhandles 

the act of a woman hanging upside down and giving two guys a handjob.
"me and my friend met some crazy ho and she did the monkeyhandles on us.
monkeyhandles by Highlandr October 2, 2006