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armchair mercenary
an individual, typically male, who incessantly second guesses the outcome of military battles recreated on television. Often addicted to the History Channel, has never served in the armed services, but is an active member of the NRA, an avid gun collector, yet doesn't hunt. Can be somewhat oblivious to spousal interests or needs.
Armchair mercenary: "Bla, bla, bla, then you know honey, if Brigadier General Warren's scouts hadn't found Little Round Top undefended, then Colonel Vincent wouldn't have led his brigade up the hill and set up a picket line. If General Lee's troops had just arrived there, say, just 10 minutes earlier, 20 tops, the Battle of Gettysburg would have been a Confederate victory! The rest would be history! Hey, grab me another beer, would ya?"
Wife: "You are sooo smart, snookums! You're my favorite armchair mercenary! Get your own beer, but just one! Remember? I've got to go, uh..... go and visit my sick friend again."
Armchair mercenary: "Hey, what if the Rebel snipers had had Barrett 50s with match ammo? Where'd I put the remote?
Wife: "You are sooo smart, snookums! You're my favorite armchair mercenary! Get your own beer, but just one! Remember? I've got to go, uh..... go and visit my sick friend again."
Armchair mercenary: "Hey, what if the Rebel snipers had had Barrett 50s with match ammo? Where'd I put the remote?
armchair mercenary by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 25, 2009
Related Words
Mercenaritis
A disease brought on by over-playing of Mercenaries 2: World in Flames too much. Symptoms include: Hating Venezuelans, having the excessive desire to steal a car, and crash it into a petroleum pump, or the urge to capture mansions. The only cure is 5 hours of Chinese Water Torture followed by 3 pounds of cake
Guy 1: Hey, you wanna drive to that new Venezuelan restaurant?
Guy 2: Nah, I can't, I might kill them. I have Mercenaritis
Guy 2: Nah, I can't, I might kill them. I have Mercenaritis
Mercenaritis by NoahTheSlash February 3, 2010
Mercenary
A 'mercenary' is a person who takes part in an armed conflict, who is not a national or a party to the conflict and is motivated to take part in the hostilities by the desire for private gain. The term 'mercenary' is also used to describe the army itself.
He hired an army of mercenaries to fight the battle for him, paying them money.
The mercenary only wanted the money for what he had done.
The mercenary only wanted the money for what he had done.
Mercenary by Soulhaiena February 10, 2014
Mercene
Gorgeous, talented, special person. People with this name rarely stay alone for long. It is hard to find people like this, when you finally find this rare person, cherish her and keep her for as long as you can.
Mercene by correct woman March 27, 2009