masturtonin 

when you take melatonin, wait 15-20 minutes then attempt to furiously masturbate and cum before falling asleep.

Them: "What are you up to tonight?"
Me: "Oh just a little masturtonin

masturtonin by slobonmybob March 30, 2019

masturboxing 

A man who beatboxes while masturbating.

I was sitting in the bus the other day when I heard a guy behind me beatbox, so I turned around and saw that he also was masturbating. I was like... "WTF, MASTURBOXING?"

masturboxing by Sarahreen September 30, 2009

Masturjoking 

When one tells a joke only to please themselves. The masturjoker often intends to please a crowd with their joke, but ultimately fails, and is the only one laughing.

Adam: "Man Alex thinks he is really funny, masturjoking over there. No one gets his humor."

Jess: "Well you always tell him to try out his jokes on kids first!"

Alex *laughing* "Oh man I'm so funny!!"

Masturjoking by Icebiker March 18, 2011

Masturbnine 

Like masturbating, but one better. Presumably illegal in most states.

John: Do you know where steve is?
Stan: I heard he was going to stay home and masturbnine
John: Oh no, I'll call the cleaner and start buying a new collection of socks.

Masturbnine by Menacing Sock Puppet April 28, 2010

mastersoning 

When you guzzle so much cum that it seeps into your cervix, thus impregnating yourself.

After mastersoning many men for many years, I finally got pregnant with a bastard child

mastersoning by Franksgizz March 27, 2015

Masturtating 

The act of masturbating while eating potatoes of one sort or another.

I whipped up some instant potatoes 😋 then I. Was. Masturtating. Talk about comfort food!

Masturtating by 4realazitgits April 17, 2021

masterconing 

Masterconing was with my misses last night and she caught me masturbate while Smoking a marijuana cone

I was with my misses last night and she caught me Masterconing On the toilet watching midget porn

masterconing by Aerosal Surgen September 12, 2022