Joesus 

The divine power in the religion of Joesism.
Moo to show your respect.

Also known as Joe from Your Turn to Die in a Jesus costume.

Friend: MOO!
You: Wtf are you doing?
Friend: I’m showing my respect to Joesus.
You: Aight bet. MOO!

Joesus by Keesws3469 April 4, 2022

Joesus 

Your average, everyday guy, who thinks he's the Messiah. But he's not.

Girl 1: Did you see what Bobby just did???
Girl 2: I know! You'd think that he thinks he's the son of god or something!
Girl 1: What a Joesus!

Joesus by Tory 2 B+ August 6, 2008

lesbian jesus 

A title given to singer/actress Hayley Kiyoko by her fans

The lesbian Jesus strikes again.

lesbian jesus by Somebody’s February 13, 2018

Jesus Cheater 

A publicly devout man or woman who uses their pious reputation to aid in cheating on their partners. Can be either using the excuse of church activities or "ministering" to folk as a cover for their trysts, or making ostentatious public displays of religious contrition to rehabilitate their image after being caught.

Sue: "Wow, Bob's really involved in the Church Choir."
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."

OR

Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."

Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"

Jesus Cheater by Mai Ainsel July 25, 2021

Griefer Jesus 

The God's son, who keeps inconveniencing Twitch streamer and YouTuber DarkViperAU in his "chaos mod" playthroughs of GTA V. Continuesly getting spawned into the game by viewers, or just bad luck.

*DarkViperAU calmly playing GTA V with the chaos mod*, *Griefer Jesus gets spawned in* DarkViperAU: "Oh no! Griefer Jesus! He is going to kill me!"

Griefer Jesus by Mynameisgregor October 12, 2020

This…is my Jesus 

This…is my Jesus is a flexibly productive ejaculation describing any person; event; timing, or situation P.E.T.S that nurtures a person as he or she experiences a tremendous personal growth spurt while maximizing their human potential. For some people it may actually be Jesus; but for others it could be a city; a person; love; a drug; a mystical experience; or a damn good burger with all the fixings. The use of this saying is very individually driven. Often usages of this saying conflict. It takes balls to use this expression publicly..

Here are some examples of how to use “This…is my Jesus” in a sentence:

Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.

Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”

A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”

This…is my Jesus by Mind Hunter the Profiler January 29, 2023

Jesus II 

Jesus version 2.0, the second coming.

Jesus II, THIS time, it's personal.

Jesus II by Sponge April 26, 2006