13 definitions by Mai Ainsel

1
A pun on "wishful thinking," it's when a woman lets her own sexual interest in someone strongly color her judgement regarding the person's reciprocal interest in her. It makes her interpret every gesture from her object of interest as a come on, even when it clearly isn't. This is known as dickful thinking if it's a man.
Her: "So my one night stand from 3 weeks ago hasn't called me, even though I gave him my number and my email. He didn't give me his real name or contact info, but he mentioned he was a professor, so I looked through the online faculty profiles of every university in 100 miles, and found his picture. I think he'd like to see me again but just lost my contact info. Should I email him at the work address I found on the faculty website, or just show up and surprise him after one of his classes? I think he'd like being surprised like that."

Friend: "No he wouldn't. That's a bunch of clitful thinking there - let it go."

Her: "Suzy hugged me last week, so she's definitely into me. Her husband isn't at the party, so I think I should try and make out with her."

Friend: "That's clitful thinking. She's not hitting on you."
by Mai Ainsel February 05, 2020
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2
A woman that a man gets into a relationship with primarily so she'll watch his kids from another relationship
Her: "Sorry, we have to cancel girls night. I forgot that Boyfriend has custody of his kids tonight and so I have to make them dinner, help them with their homework, and prepare their school lunch for tomorrow."

Friend: "Girl, he's using you as a bang nanny! DTMFA."
by Mai Ainsel October 21, 2019
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3
A variation of malicious compliance where you respond (or offer to respond) with way more than what was asked of you, in order to try and pressure the asker to back off.
Sue: "So I told my husband I wasn't ok with him staying at his ex-girlfriend's house when he visited her town," and he was like, 'fine, I'll never hang out alone with any female friend - ever - if that's what it takes for you to trust me'!"

Sam: "That's some grade-A malicious over-compliance. My Mom's the queen of it. I told her I didn't have time to talk for 3 hours on the phone every day and she goes 'oh I'm so sorry, I'll stop bothering you with my sad, boring life - I'll never demand speak to you again... but perhaps you would allow me a 2-minute call on my birthdays and maybe Christmas?' Like, geez, lady!"

Kid: "Bye Dad, I'm gonna hang out with some older guys in a parking lot."

Sam: "No you're not - it's 10:30pm on a school night ."

Kid: "Fine, I guess I'll just stay home all day every day and never do anything but study and pray!"

Sam: "That's nice, kid - now do your homework." *turns to Sue* "Yeah, my daughter apparently inherited the malicious over compliance talent from gran-gran. I was sort hoping she'd get Mom's singing talent, but nooo... just the theater drama."
by Mai Ainsel July 09, 2020
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4
Pointless nitpicking of a solution - especially with a cover of SJW-style pretentiousness masked as inclusivity. Like if someone had responded to "maybe I'll provide sandwiches for the office lunch," with "not everyone can eat sandwiches - what if they can't lift the bread with their hands because they're disabled, or what if their religion forbids sandwiches, or what if sandwiches are a trigger?"
Sue: "So I suggested maybe the girls from bookclub would like a movie night to see the film of the book we just read, and Karen kept going on about how we needed to check to make sure there weren't any triggers in the movie, and see if we needed to post a flashing-lights warning."

Bob: "Does anyone in the bookclub actually need that?"

Sue: "No. She just likes being a Not Everyone Can Eat Sandwiches pain in the ass."

Bob: "I hear you. I got a guy at the office who says it would be unfair to offer team lunches as a reward for people because it excludes those who practice intermittent fasting. We don't even have anyone that does that - but hey, he says one day we might, and then that person might feel excluded."
by Mai Ainsel April 07, 2021
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5
The cough/cold/flu everyone gets after going to Hajj, because you're stuffed up close with people from every corner of the world, and one of them is gonna have whatever flu virus it is that you aren't immune to
"I just got back from Hajj and I'm in bed with Hajj flu."
by Mai Ainsel February 08, 2020
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6
A publicly devout man or woman who uses their pious reputation to aid in cheating on their partners. Can be either using the excuse of church activities or "ministering" to folk as a cover for their trysts, or making ostentatious public displays of religious contrition to rehabilitate their image after being caught.
Sue: "Wow, Bob's really involved in the Church Choir."
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."

OR

Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."

Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
by Mai Ainsel July 25, 2021
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7
Sort of like "you do you," but with a strong implication that you're talking out of your ass. Basically "you're an idiot and what you're saying is stupid, if you want to keep going I guess I won't stop you."
Bob: "The world is run by lizard people."

Sue: "There's no such thing as lizard people, but go off, I guess."
by Mai Ainsel July 01, 2020
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