The act of being so loose and drunk by a person; whereby they feel compelled to take a shit whilst pissed, then inadvertently deciding they need to vomit into the bowl without flushing.
In extreme cases, and in the most traditional form, the 'Dirty J-Wood' is usually completed with a wet dream whilst spooning a rookie of the universities baseball team.
Tiger was at some loosebitcheshouse last night and got so trashed he had a 'Dirty J-Wood' before he passed out.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.